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Epilude: Functionally Identical To An Epilogue But I Made My Bed With The Whole “-lude” Suffix Thing So Here We Are

Creepy was uncharacteristically quiet and preoccupied – pensive, even – as we made our way home across the blessedly un-corpse-swamped and un-stinkholed city. It was so pronounced, in the end, I eventually felt obligated to ask him what was up. “I’m just wondering … Continue reading

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The Myconet, Part 57

“A lesson?” Creepy was immediately and clearly suspicious of this. “What kind of a lesson?” he squinted at the Prism again. “It looks like a maths lesson, Hatboy. Make it go away.” “Would that I could, Creepy, would that I … Continue reading

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The Myconet, Part 3

Day 60. 161 pages, 58,131 words. “Hatboy,” the Myconet said as soon as I’d closed the door. The third thing you notice about the Myconet is that she doesn’t really talk, as such. Obviously, she can’t – because she’s a … Continue reading

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That’s All, Folks

Day 12. 59 pages, 27,261 words. “Riddle me this, Hatboy.” “Preparing to riddle.” “Bad guys in cartoons.” “With you so far.” “They try to catch the good guys. A lot of them actually try to kill the good guys. Oh, … Continue reading

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Interlude: Tigger Warning

“Oh no! My childhood! Ruined!” “Again?” “For real this time, Hatboy! My entire childhood, or more specifically my early adulthood, ruined!” “I’m sorry, Creepy, but I’ve already assumed that a series of monumentally screwed-up things happened to you in the … Continue reading

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The Conundrum

“Riddle me this, Hatboy.” “Must I?” “Why do you never see a movie where the lone wolf complains to the chief that he doesn’t want a partner, and then the chief yells at him but ultimately admits that working alone … Continue reading

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Phoning it in, Part 4

I grumbled for a while, then studied the trees some more. I briefly considered attempting to uproot them and toss them into the couch, but decided against it. In the unlikely event that Creepy was right and the trees were … Continue reading

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Phoning it in, Part 1

I looked up sceptically at the tree. It wasn’t a fir tree, or a pine tree, or any of the other sorts of trees that one would normally associate with Christmas. It wasn’t even a pear tree, with an amusingly-placed … Continue reading

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Philophistry

Day 24. 61 pages, 29,770 words. Lately, I’ve been watching “Jake and Amir” on YouTube’s Collegehumor channel. Random sample. I’ve been watching these – some surreal, some painful, some hilarious, some shockingly violent or otherwise graphic – and wondering why … Continue reading

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The Ramen Burger, Part II

I looked down at the menu in mute shock. Ramen Burger …………………….. $9.50 If you’ll just call it what it is – a noodle burger – the very fact that this thing was on the menu was enough to make … Continue reading

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