RIP, Your Nibs

Maintain your rage, the time of Empires is over and the time of the orc has begun.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
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15 Responses to RIP, Your Nibs

  1. Hatboy says:

    There will be a lot of people in the next few weeks saying “I don’t care for the monarchy, but the Queen was a grand old lady”. This is like saying “I don’t like eggs, but the stuff inside them is really good, also you can decorate the shells and that’s nice too.”

    You like the monarchy. It’s fine. This is a sad time for you, and I’m sorry.

    I’m glad it seemed relatively quick, and that she didn’t suffer. Otherwise … well, it’s like if Kim Kardashian, or one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey or whatever pointless celebrity died. Only this pointless celebrity is the symbol of an institution that is standing in the way of independence for a bunch of countries still subjugated by the crown, and I am not here for it. We’re closing in on the end of Q1 for the 21st Century, people. Get your fucking souls right.

    • dreameling says:

      I’m probably one of those people. Well, I have no substantial feelings about the British monarchy, or any monarchy, but Queen Elisabeth II seemed like a nice-enough, grand-enough old lady.

      • Hatboy says:

        But you definitely expected this post from me, right?

        I’m going to err on the side of “if you’re sad, that’s sad” and “in terms of what her function was, holy fuck was she good at it”, and leave anything else to the question of what happens next. I’ve had too many conversations with Scots, Irish and African folks to really commit to “she was great”, but I will agree on “she was great at what she was.”

        What she was, just to be clear, was the monarchy

        Also, I’m drunk as shit and I love you.

      • dreameling says:

        We approach this from completely different angles and that’s totally fine. Your touch points with the British monarchy are dramatically different from mine. I obviously don’t fault you your stance, and it’s expected, and I’m perfectly comfortable with my naive, at-a-distance, look-at-those-silly-royals stance.

        The British Empire, the Commonwealth, and the British monarchy mean very little to me personally. When I see the Queen, I don’t see the system, I just see an old lady, and she (or rather her public persona) has always struck me nice enough.

        The system aside, though, among the people who’ve sat on thrones across human history, she’s gotta be one of the more benevolent ones, on a personal level, right?

      • dreameling says:

        PS. Was I supposed to say I love you, too!? Can we wait till I’m drunk as shit?

      • Hatboy says:

        Bahaha fine, be heartless!

      • Hatboy says:

        No it isn’t! I’m still drunk! And about to resume drinking!

      • dreameling says:

        What’s this binge in celebration of? The Queen?

      • Hatboy says:

        Hah, no we planned this long in advance. Work thing Friday night, then Mrs. Hatboy’s and appi‘s 40th / 70th celebration tonight.

      • dreameling says:

        I’m looking forward to some gin, Amarula, and actual champagne today. Not gonna get drunk, though. And nothing to do with the Queen or any monarchy!

      • Hatboy says:

        Very nice! We will be sampling our first batch of SottunGin, initial taste tests have been promising.

  2. Hatboy says:

    You like the monarchy. It’s fine. This is a sad time for you, and I’m sorry.

    Mrs. Hatboy is a semi-ironic monarchist of the “as long as we can put them in a big wicker effigy and burn them if the crops fail on any given year” kind, and she says that as soon as people learn how to vote, she’ll be all for the abolition of monarchies. I can’t fault that reasoning, although (the Whitlam Government notwithstanding) they really don’t seem to have much more power than the Real Housewives so there’s not really any value to them unless we invest them with that power. Which seems unlikely to happen. Certainly not with King Chucky set to take the throne.

    Let’s see if Scotland gets out before they put the hat on him. Or, heck, maybe Scotland will be into having a new King Charles.

  3. Hatboy says:

    Yes, I will keep commenting my own post, because I wanted to keep it all brevity-like.

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