Du (a review)

This was half a movie so I’m only going to give it half a review.

We headed out to the cinema again last night to catch Denis Villeneuve’s new Dune remake on the big screen.

Now, I’m one of those people who was fine with the ’80s Lynch / Smithee production (I was very happy to hear the orchestral rock riff in the background of at least one scene in this new movie, it feels right), and while I like Herbert’s book I don’t worship it, and I also liked his son’s books so I’m no kind of purist. I’m fairly easy to please. I believe I’ve explained enough times the level on which I enjoy movies. It’s equal parts impossibly shallow and insanely setting-oriented.

So when I say there was enough world in this to make me incredibly happy it got made, but there wasn’t enough story in it to be anything but frustrating beyond my spoiled-rotten ability to bear it, you might have an inkling of what I’m babbling about.

Here’s a picture of Stilgar and some other people standing still while wearing stillsuits. I don’t know. Half a review, remember?
Fun Dune fact #1: Paul Atreides [editor’s note: I am reminded by my nerdy friend Veronica that it was in fact Paul’s son, Leto II] later takes a massive dose of spice and turns into a human / sandworm hybrid and becomes God-Emperor of the Imperium. We are unlikely to see this on the big screen but I’ve been wrong before and oh boy do I hope I’m wrong this time.

Yes, this was a work of absolute art. It’s faithful to the book although it’s been a while since I re-read the books so I’m willing to bow to more fervent readers on this one. It was visually amazing and fun to watch. And we just about get to the part where Paul and Jessica escape Harkonnen cutthroats and get to the Fremen sietch for the first time before the fucking movie just fucking stops. And I don’t care if that’s a spoiler, you need to fucking know this is only half a movie and the other half might not even get made.

Although it probably will. I know I’m doing my part to pay for it, and I’ll definitely go and see it if and when it ever appears. I don’t know why this is a caption instead of a paragraph but maybe it will make sense when the review is actually completed? Either way, you probably read this in Drax’s voice so that’s something.
Fun Dune fact #2: Even Frank Herbert mispronounces “Harkonnen”, which I guess means I (and the ’80s movie from which I believe I got the pronunciation in the first place) are wrong but that doesn’t stop me from fucking hating the way they pronounce it in this movie.

So by all means, support this movie. Ambitious work like this should be rewarded, and it is absolutely beautiful. And I may be able to pick out a proper story arc on a second viewing, I don’t know. Mrs. Hatboy seemed satisfied that the journey of Paul Atreides had a clear path and ended at an important crossroads, so I will concede to her wisdom. And I know I’m exhibiting spoiled-audience crappiness here and demanding instant gratification. But … look, as long as they make the second part of the movie, it’ll be fine.

I’d still have preferred to watch five-and-a-half hours of complete story rather than the almost-three-hours of stunningly gorgeous prologue that we got. But I am definitely going to be in a minority with that take.

Speaking of stunningly gorgeous … fun Dune fact #3: Paul was supposed to be a girl so (s)he could marry Sting (I mean Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen). But Jessica loved Leto so much she gave him a son instead. I suspect Sting would have shrugged and made the best of it.

This movie is a beautiful piece of art that deserves to be encouraged. I’m perfectly happy throwing money and support at it. But part of what annoys me about this whole thing is, when Luc Besson made Valerian, he knew his movie had to be a proper narrative with a beginning, middle and end, and so he was forced to make a butchered mess of a much bigger story for the sake of getting it out there. And it failed, and we can only hope that failure didn’t completely and finally poison that particular creative branch.

But how amazing could he have made it, if he’d gone this way with it and just created a lovely, incomplete tapestry and gone “here it is, if it makes enough money maybe I’ll finish it”? Imagine that in a French accent. There you go.

This isn’t Villeneuve’s fault. I give him a lot of credit for the ballsy approach. But it’s a symptom of the corporate, capitalist stranglehold that is destroying art.

I loved what they did with Max von Sydow, by the way. For real, Liet-Kynes was always a favourite minor character of mine and this was a cool interpretation of the role, well acted.

This movie is not this generation’s Lord of the Rings. Or if it is, it’s the animated movie that was made the year I was born: half a movie, with an unceremonious cut-off and an intended sequel that never quite ended up happening. Here’s to hoping Villeneuve’s Dune doesn’t suffer the same fate.

One thing I can say for sure though, the perfo

[to be continued (…?)]

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy. https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
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4 Responses to Du (a review)

  1. Hatboy says:

    We just went to see the movie for a second time (very pleased to see it’s doing well enough to just about guarantee a second part already), with Linza and Mr. Bloom, and Ilja who is a lifelong Dune enthusiast. He was really thrilled with the movie and I admit that seeing it a second time allowed me to see it in a new light too.

    All my real complaints here boil down to:

    1) Waaah, I want it all right now and I don’t wanna wait!

    2) Valerian would have been so much better if it had been allowed / ballsy enough to go this way with it instead of sacrificing story to the Gods of cinematic capitalism.

    Now as far as 1) goes, I’m still going to be very pissed off if this doesn’t get a Part Two. But otherwise I’m okay with it and admit it’s more about me being spoiled. I’d still watch 5 hours in a row of this. As for 2), I still think this and it annoys me. But Mr. Bloom did point out that Besson could have made a tighter story by not being a smartarse and trying to pull four whole comic storylines together. It would have kept the visual beauty and had a proper movie-length plot.

    So oh well.

    So basically, as long as you go in knowing this is a different creature to your normal cinema, you should enjoy this. Also please go, we want it to make a ton of moneys.

  2. aaronthepatriot says:

    Wow, thanks for the warnings! I’m a massive Dune fan, read all (I think) of the follow on books, but that this is a half movie in these uncertain times is good information. I’m not going out there for a giant cliffhanger and some COVID on the side.

    • Hatboy says:

      Hopefully it’s already done well enough to get its part two and there might even be a chance to see both movies back to back or a joined-up megamovie in 2023 or whenever it’s done. This is definitely worth seeing on a big screen.

      But yeah, if the incompleteness without LOTR-esque guarantee of finished product is a deal breaker, then no deal and fair enough.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Well, as you know my calculus for seeing things on the big screen is different than yours. And that’s before the Eternal Pandemic Everlasting ™(c)(r).

        Our basement TV is pretty good and I have a great sound bar…might even be getting a BIGGER tv soon, so that orta do it.

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