In the 39th Century, great men and women of the human race strode among the stars. And the crew of the Astro Tramp 400 were also there.
Six untrained civilians. Two seasoned officers and two radically unspaceworthy scientists.
One mad alien inventor.
And six hundred and twenty-eight clone crewmen with severe intelligence-formatting errors.
Eejit is the first tale of The Final Fall of Man, a science-fiction story about – among other things – the human race and how we either won or lost it, depending on your point of view.
This special 499-Minute Configuration Edition of the book is a re-release of the original story, with some minor text errors fixed and a smooth silky new hardcover, for collectors who definitely exist and are real.
Get it here!
Eejit does not have any of the stuff I was talking about in my last post, since this whole thing was a beta trial by Amazon and I was not allowed to talk about it, and I just went with a simple setup. There is no reason the rest of the books in the series can’t have any or even all of the special edition extras discussed previously. Or something else entirely!
Drop a comment, let me know.
I’m very excited to finally see hardcovers available that really work. Okay, sure, they might not be quite as schmancy as the dust-jacketed cloth-bound fuckers I nearly made with whatever site it was, but those were way too complex. And these, I have to say, look great.
Hatboy's Hatstand 
Sadly there is a page limit to the hardcovers, so I won’t be able to make special editions of Oræl Rides to War or the anthologies.
We can discuss this but I demand an author signature and a special note. One that looks nice. Perhaps with a tiered effect.
Ah! Well Amazon is still making them so unless I add a JPG of a signature in there (which is doable but…), that’s still not going to be possible. I could add it, but Eejit is already live so I’d need to pull it and then re-release.
I don’t know what you’re talking about with that last set of instructions, unless of course you also want me to demolish the largest starship in Six Species space with a herring?
It’s doable if I’m willing to pay for it to be shipped to you, and then you to me, and the cost of the book. Which I’m hinting I am.
With your last comments I’m starting to wonder if your mother is a hamster or your father smelt of elderberries. Certainly I’m not thinking you are an English pig-dog….
Well if you did that, you’d get not just an autograph, but a drunken-scrawled message and a bookmark made out of a colostomy bag.
* an empty colostomy bag.
An UNUSED and empty colostomy bag? I mean there are better ways to give me your DNA bruh.
Right now, trying to think how much it would all cost, if better to wait until we can travel, etc. If we would be able to travel anytime in the next year or 2 and so on.
What do you think the double shipping would cost?
I have no clue. Finnish post is being an absolute fucker right now, at least they’re not shipping to Australia, I haven’t asked about the US. But a set of 8 books would cost a solid hundred, I’d say, quite easily. That’s from here to there. Don’t know about there to here of course.
It’s a work in progress. Getting my cheap author copies and sending them to you direct is probably the easiest way, but right now the hardcovers are having a really bad time with any kind of shipping. Also I only have one and a half hardcover books ready right now.
So I was just talking about Eejit, but it seems we’d have to wait anyway. Perhaps waiting for all the books in hardcover is best, I don’t know. I’d definitely be willing to pay 2 x $100 for that, although if we’re waiting “that long” it probably would make more sense just to wait until we can physically meet.
I wanna see what the whole set looks like before I look at getting super-special signed ones for my crew. Eejit alone should be reasonably cheap and easy.
Empty, yes. Unused by me, yes.
The lack of humor in this response makes me worry I hurt your feelings somehow. I hope not!
Bwaahahahaha no! I was just continuing the weird colostopromise.
I mean, you were meant to say “unused by you but used by someone else?”
Ahh shit, sorry. Just got mind blown by house we’re going to see tomorrow, no brains left. All over wall behind me.
I started this last Thursday when I was home sick and then forgot to finish it. Enjoy.
Speaking of getting together….
Please note i just had my second vaccine shot yesterday and am a little delirious.
Cromcon 1 (The Truck Stops Here): in Detroit of course
Schedule:
Meet and greet 9am
Ildarminars:
Cratch & Release 10am
Boning in the Bone Yards 11am
Big Thundering Bjorn (Bathroom break) 10 minutes
Lunch provided by Astro Tramp 12pm
Do You Know Where Pendraegg Went? No, Zee’gone 1pm
Greyblade the Gay Blade? 2pm
Big Shooey (Bathroom break) 20 minutes
Arts and Crafts: How to Modify Yourself in the Blaren Way 3pm
Clowning Around with Bunzo 4pm
Board games: Z-Lin “Clue” 5pm
Mercy, Mercy, Me? 6pm
Final Feast. 7pm
Wine provided by Crom and Greyblade
Dessert provided by Zoogo Zaroy
After meal fun:
Phobe-ia (Pub-style trivia)pm
Concert featuring music by the “Vulture” Club
My work here is done
This is just … amazing. I’m going to have to just bask in it for a while. Hold please.
Congratulations! I am genuinely pleased to see that while the US may have screwed the pooch on a lot of things, you sure did get the elbows in and get vaccines for yourselves while the getting was good. Wait that sounds bitter, am I mad that the EU is very, very slightly less selfish and way worse at organising? Oh well, I’ll take it. Glad you got your shots! For reals.
Ohhhhh, perfection. It has to be added that there was a Bring An Eejit convention in 2014 with the release of the book, so while purists might consider that the first true meeting, it certainly wasn’t a Çromcom. It did have original cast members in cosplay, though!
Hee hee, with anecdotal support from Sally-Forth-Fully-Armed. She nose things.
Note to self: Start using that one in daily life.
Eggs, corn, some chicken…
Bwaaaaaahahahaha
Both of these have me in a cold sweat for the health and safety aspects.
It was Glomulus Cratch, in the transpersion core, with … *checks* … with the transpersion core.
Glorious.
*shamelessly squees*
When they tell you it’s closing time, you’d best believe them.
Fucking Hell, man. What a way to start the day. That was epic. I salute you.
Trivia is hosted by the Riddlespawn of course
That is vaguely horrifying but I’m on board. I can see one striding out of nowhere and taking a place at the podium.
Yeah, vaccines are nice to have access to though it is hard not to feel guilty about how difficult they are to get almost everywhere else, not to mention even here where we have too many doses we can’t vaccinate equitably. Not everyone is able to drive an hour on short notice when a shot becomes available. I will be officially clear as of the 28th of April and can hang out with my brother and his family again. YAY!
Being naturally disposed to puns already the post-shot flu-like symptoms really shook something loose and I was desperate to commit them to the comments before I passed out. I made it about halfway and came back to it yesterday. I don’t think I was reading your blog back in 2014 so wouldn’t have been aware of Bring an Eejit. Good name though.
There were almost certainly more bumping around in my head that I forgot while feeling ill, so stay tuned for random urverse puns. Plus there should probably be a second day anywho. Why only spend one day in Detroit? Maybe pony rides, but with Flesh Eaters instead?
It was really fun to write this and your approval is appreciated. I couldn’t try these out on my wife because she hasn’t read most of the books and is sick enough of my puns by now.
The Fergie Express instead of the Pony Express. Because they serve a similar purpose in the Six Species frontier…
I like it!
Space pirates and their space weasels can lay in ambush.
Running in endless creepy animatronic circles.
What???
What did he??
What???
Sorry I know it’s totally off topic but this was the best way to wave this hilariousness in y’all’s faces.
Sometimes you just need to buy a plank.
He obviously reads the blog and bought it for the captured space pirates. Duh.
What if, just for example, uh, let’s say, arrr matey?
[Moved this to a better post – Ed.)
Completely unrelated, just passing this along because it looks amazing.
Epic NPC Man? What the fuck did I just watch??
Oh yeah. Hi Aaron😂
Hiyo! So are we talking about The Last Days of Earth somewhere or nah? I thought we were somehow but I might have been mistaken.
I think I tried to start, but it was during the last days of the trial and never came back to it.
https://hatboy.blog/2021/03/26/the-last-days-of-earth-the-bell-tolls/
I assume you have finished it.
Lets make Hatboy start a new blog post dedicated to that. No politics, no videos, just hardcore muthafucking book reviewing!
Hold your horses just a second, and I’ll throw a happy rambling post together about the trilogy and the last book thereof, for all your commenting needs!
But yeah, there is also some great commentary from Damon elsewhere in the chaos that is the Hatstand’s comment section.