Weak Ass (P)ideology

Remember the WAP song? Remember how conservative snowflakes lost their minds about it[1]? It was funny. P-word is, uh, female genitalia. Classic.

One facet of it has been rattling around in my head for a while, and it’s a silly little facet that doesn’t really matter, but this is my blog and it’s been quiet lately, so I’m going to do a brief lukewarm take on it.

This gif has nothing to do with the post. But it’s a very underrated gif that deserves more time in the sun.
Fight me. I am Galdolf.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh right! Ben Shapiro, male masculine penis-having big boy man, was vewwy upset and responded hilariously. He also demonstrated what real music was, and in a move that may have actually upset me more than any amount of lightly-oiled in-your-face Cardi B rear-endal voluptuousity could achieve, he very nearly spoiled Les Misérables for me.

Now, I like Les Mis. I couldn’t say why. The story doesn’t exactly resonate with me, since I’m not a lower-class Frenchman from 1830. But it’s stirring. It put to music a sort of ideology of fighting back instead of giving in to unfairness that I suppose helped turn Little Hatboy into a social justice warrior, even though Little Hatboy identified more with Gavroche than he did with Valjean or Thénardier[2]. To this day I cannot watch this video without weeping, although that’s only about 25% to do with the song. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables will forever be right up there with Khe SanhBrothers in Arms and The Green Fields of France on my anti-war anthems list.

So I was a bit disgusted to see Shapiro singing Stars, the main theme of

Oh, right.

Yeah, I guess if you’re going to be a contard with a deep emotional connection to a character in a musical, it might as well be the cruel and morally inflexible authoritarian and (literal) son of a whore whose inability to show the merest scrap of humanity and mercy is such that – when faced with the choice between doing what is right and doing what is legal – he commits suicide rather than accept he’s the bad guy. The ultimate symbol of fragile ideology and absence of moral character.

Makes sense.

Anyway, that was how I learned to stop worrying about Shapiro liking a musical I like, and went back to laughing at what a weenie he is.

Also, today is my big brother’s birthday and he has always been a far better singer than I am.

Big brothers always are.

Happy birthday, Jim! Dare I say, WAP-py birthday?


That would be wrong.


[1] Fun fact, the last time I talked about WAP was last August and we had a plumbing renovation underway. Well, yesterday the dude came by to put in the last tiny plastic plug they’d forgotten to put in, a bit of negligence that was filling our front room with the smell of Wet Ass Sewage, and put the cover back on the water heater. So they’re done! It took them less than a year, people! Actually I think Aaron was the only person I was still actively following up about this with, but there you go. Closure. And by “closure,” I mean “of the sewage stankhole.”

[2] Another fun fact, I very nearly auditioned for the part of Gavroche when I was a kid and Les Mis was casting an Australian troupe. I didn’t, in the end, because I was too shy. But my family still give me shit about it. Hardly seems fair.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy. https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
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28 Responses to Weak Ass (P)ideology

  1. Hatboy says:

    Of course, when I say “upset me more than any amount of lightly-oiled in-your-face Cardi B rear-endal voluptuousity could achieve, he very nearly spoiled Les Misérables for me,” I don’t mean to imply that the addition of lightly-oiled in-your-face Cardi B rear-endal voluptuousity would necessarily have spoiled Les Misérables. If anything, it probably would have enhanced it. Certainly when I was a pre-teen.

  2. Hatboy says:

    I’m also aware that Les Misérables is based on a Victor Hugo book. I have not read it. I am willing to bet there are fewer songs in it, and significantly less lightly-oiled in-your-face Cardi B rear-endal voluptuousity.

  3. aaronthepatriot says:

    Yay, I’m so happy the plumbing job is done!

    Or is it? *ominous music, raised eyebrow*

    JK of course.

    I can’t raise just one eyebrow, never trained my facial muscles to do it. Or to wink my left eye. Or, ahh shit. Where was I?

    Yes, good point about the character Shapiro chose to align with, in choosing his example of great music. I mean, fuck, at least it wasn’t some classical bullshit he sang, eh? He, or someone near him, had the wherewithal to direct him to something a bit hip.

    But yeah, I see it, now that you point it out. My main thought at the time was, fuck, I wish he had failed at that a bit more. He seems to at least have a sense of pitch and all that, damn him.

    So he’s got that AND a bunch of old, rich fuckers paying him to lie on a daily basis. Some people have all the luck!

    • Hatboy says:

      Toop has been able to raise one eyebrow ever since she was a baby. Now she does it every time she needs to make me giggle. Although she has to lift up her bangs in order to show it off, which just makes the whole move funnier.

      I can only imagine how mad you’d be if Shapiro went full opera. And was asked to come in and guest-perform somewhere. Man, even I’m getting annoyed thinking about it. But yeah, his singing voice isn’t terrible. Almost makes up for how irritating his speaking voice is.

      He should make like Javert, and sing more. And kill himself And give Valjean a break. Yeah.

  4. Toon says:

    Apparently so. The bushfire is exactly like the mouth of hell, and it’s not like we’re strangers to bushfires. 56 homes gone at last count, including a friends’ house. So sad for them.
    I believe we made the New York Times with the heading “one Covid case sends 2 million people into lockdown”. You betcha. We take it very very seriously. We really liked our non Covid life for the last 10 months.

    • Hatboy says:

      Damn right. You’re doing the right thing for everyone who lives there, and I’m sure your response to the bushfire will be just as swift, smart and humane.

      There were at least two “we got out but the family cat was left behind” stories in that news article. That’s so sad.

    • Hatboy says:

      I was going to make a joke about the Jewish Space Laser™, but maybe we can leave it for now.

      • Toon says:

        We have our own loonies here that might seize on that space laser idea! Best not to encourage them, even in jest.
        Our police are cheerfully giving out free masks to anyone without one and even then we had someone refuse to put it on. Or to give their name and address. He’s in jail now. No fucking about. The “knucklehead rule” the police commissioner called that approach. I quite liked that description.
        Don’t be a knucklehead, kids!

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        The Patented Rothschild Firestarter Space Fricking Laser Beam ™(c)(r) is old news, now the antivaxxers are shutting down vaccination clinics with their rioting and looting (hey I can do that too!). On to the next disaster! Try to keep up!

      • Toon says:

        I don’t think we can possibly compete in that particular race against you guys….we’ve no chance of keeping up, sorry….although we’re not due to start vaccinations until the end of this month so let’s see what the anti vaxxers do then, they’ve still got a bit of time up their sleeve to learn from your lot…

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        No “that’s not a knife” moment here? XD

      • Toon says:

        😂. Not this time. Thanks for the laugh.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG this is HILARIOUS!!!! YOU HAVE TO WATCH OMFG I’m crying and laughing!

      • Hatboy says:

        But he’s going to finally drop the evidence on us! Surely it’s not over until he does, no matter how emotionally it might feel like it is! Maybe he can represent Trump at the trial.

        Seriously, anyone who wasn’t expecting the 45th US Presidency to end like Homer’s “little bit airborne” pig just hasn’t been paying attention.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        LOL but did you actually watch the shitshow of them talking over each other? Him trying to rant about Dominion and the host trying to read the legal disclaimer? XD XD XD “Shh!! You want to get us sued????” The Shinning.

        All before walking off. Yes, the host of this show walked off. LMFAO

      • Hatboy says:

        Yeah I watched it. Pure gold. He really just rambled off on a whole journey there didn’t he? No wonder Trump likes him so much.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Yup, peas in a pod. In this hilarious way, too: being banned in his personal account from Twitter, MyPillowGuy started using his company website (smart capitalism!) to continue the same rants about voter fraud, rigging, Dominion, all that. And even saying “this is me, Mike Lindell” almost adding “avoiding the twitter ban on my personal account totally in violation of their TOS, man am I fucking smart! Or an idiot! You decide!” LMAO

        Just like Trump. Avoids ban, resulting in his other related accounts being taken down. And that’s what he was on NewsMax to talk about, ostensibly.

        What a fucking idiot. Impossible to satire.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        LMAO now I’m amusing myself that this is a “Mike, stop! You’re gonna get yourself in trouble!” moment:

      • Hatboy says:

        He just kept kicking.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        This year keeps getting better! This video title! LMAO

        AAAAHAHAHAHAHA! The world would be a far better place if ALL women would reject those tiny Republican packages.

        Jen Psaki is pretty snarky in these briefings, though not featured here. I like her, it’s refreshing beyond the baseline answering the fucking questions and seeming honest. So I will use the faux woke of the mainstream and say SLAY QUEEN!

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Oh Jen Psaki is Joe Biden’s press secretary, like under Trump, the MAGA Nanny, Sean Spicer and the like. Sarah HUCKABEE (sanders) *shudder*

        So, an infinite improvement.

      • Hatboy says:

        I loved her “woooow, SPACE FORCE” reaction. She can stay.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        *points at Hatboy* YES. That. That’s the sort of thing I’m talking about LOL

        I remember another reporter who was doing kind of the Trump thing where you pretend a lot of people are talking about the issue you’re raising, in introducing his question.

        As she began her answer, first she started a back and forth with him like “So who is wondering about this? Oh just, just folks in the hallway ok” as he fumbled to name anyone, and then proceeded still to answer the question.


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