I Had A Dream (US Inauguration Day)

Weirdly, I had a dream last night.

It was the night before Biden’s inauguration, and for some reason I was hosting Donald and Melania Trump at our house (or possibly backstage at the inauguration, but it was our house). Maybe they booked us because we did such a good job looking after them when they visited Finland to meet with Big Daddy Putin.

It was decidedly odd. I had a chat with them both, and found Donald to be … pleasant. Like his public and online personae were just an act. It was all fairly quiet and inoffensive, even though I was trying to be critical and challenging, I found I had very little to say because he was so laid back. I did get a bit of a zinger in, while explaining the great influence my older sister has had on my life, personality and ideology. Donald was like, “ah, your family in Australia,” and I said, “yep, I’m one of those immigrants who didn’t bring his whole extended family with him when he moved into the country.”

I meant it as a “not all immigrants are bad and it’s not a takeover by foreign powers, it’s just diversity” statement, but Melania asked whether it was maybe a jab at her and the way she’d brought her parents into the US. It was mildly amusing.

And then they bought one of my books! I was looking around my bookshelves for a spare paperback to give them, and getting agitated because they’d all been cleared away somewhere, when I woke up.

I mean, that was weird, right? They don’t read.

Happy Inauguration Day. Welcome to the world, President Biden. Don’t fuck it up, it’s already a huge mess.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy. https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
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27 Responses to I Had A Dream (US Inauguration Day)

  1. ohilya says:

    As said by CNN reporter Jake Tapper: “We’re standing by to witness the end of the Trump Era.”

    More magical words have not been spoken in years.

  2. aaronthepatriot says:

    Shit, son! That there is some wacky tabacky….

    • Hatboy says:

      There he goes.

      Bye cunt.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Bye vittu. I saw it when you had it as Felicia lol.

        I wonder how many people waved back with middle fingers. I would have. It has to be non-zero, ya think?

      • Hatboy says:

        I was indeed torn between the memey “bye Felicia” and the timeless “bye cunt.”

        The correct form for the Finnish is hyvästi, haista vittu. dreameling, correct me if I’m wrong.

      • Hatboy says:

        (Just out of interest, that is; the literal translation is “goodbye, go sniff a cunt.” Not really a curse when you actually think about how nice vaginas are, but that’s curses for you. Nicely done on your part!)

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        We’ve discussed recently the ridiculous misogyny and homophobia in a lot of these curses, and beliefs, such as the Russian one that orally pleasuring a woman is “gay” because “that’s where penises go.” This Finnish phrase seems similarly originated.

        Totally agree about the vagine, as Borat says.

        Hey I’ve been wondering, is there any word play in Finnish that y’all do between “Vuta” and “Vittu”? They seem close enough to me that if they were American words, I’d be playing on them in some way. Just curious.

      • dreameling says:

        Let’s be real. Vaginas don’t always smell nice!

        Also, I’d go with “Heippa, mulkku!”

      • Hatboy says:

        That’s a good one, it uses a male-genitalia slur that I suppose we’re better placed to approve or disapprove of[1], and the “heippa” is nice and jaunty.

        [1] “Cunt” is not a gender issue, however, whereas “vittu” might be. “Cunt” is a cultural issue. I can say it because as an Australian it is part of my racial background and you’re a bigot if you try to stop me, there I said it. Cunt.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Race doesn’t exist, so I’m rubber and you’re glue in that your bigot bounces off me and sticks to you.

      • Hatboy says:

        I’ll see this goldmine of LOLs and raise you … this:

      • Hatboy says:

        I can’t stop watching this, it’s fucking hilarious.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Holy shit! Did he even have to alter that? I’d swear I saw the original and he didn’t alter it at all. Brilliant either way though, honestly.

      • Hatboy says:

        Nope, I’m looking at the various clips now and he did nothing to it. Fucking magnificent human. This one is also perfect:

      • Hatboy says:

        Woo! Yes she did, yes she did! C’mon now!

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        YES SHE MOTHERFUCKING DID AAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Go on, Doxx yourself, too good, too good!

      • aaronthepatriot says:


      • ohilya says:

        BYE FELICIA.

  3. ohilya says:

    To think that I once upon a time thought the GWB administration was as low as the bar could be set. My imagination failed to anticipate the possibility of something as ugly and destructive as the Trump administration.

    • aaronthepatriot says:

      Agreed! In the first 3 years of Trump, I grew extremely tired of all the “still not as bad as Bush, the War Criminal” folk. Most US presidents are war criminals to one degree or another. Bush was, to a greater degree, of course! But Trump took the country to far uglier, and lonely (world stage) places. For that he was already worse IMO.

      And then of course in the past year, he risked war with Iran in January 2020, and then again through Mike Pompeo, lying in the EXACT same way about Al Quaeda and Iran as Bush et. al. did for Iraq! So that settles it once and for all, I think. Given the chance he would have done EXACTLY the same thing to Iran. Thank fuck it looks like the clock ran out.

  4. Damon Holston says:

    Bye bitch. I hate you and hope you get kicked out of your home for failure to pay HOA dues or they uphold the conditions of your lease.
    There are probably encampments nearby that also don’t want you around! Go live in Oregon with your not-so “Proud Boys”.

    • Hatboy says:

      Also I hope Twitter never lets you back onto their platform, go and research the difference between freedom of speech and freedom of a worldwide uncritical audience hosted by a private company for your benefit. I’ll give you a clue, that second one isn’t a thing.

    • aaronthepatriot says:

      Oh there’s a lot going on in that post, Damon, and I’m enjoying it all! I hope he’s charged criminally THIS WEEK, perhaps even civilly in a way that will bankrupt him, immediately!

      And yeah, it’s pretty clear no one in “polite society” is ever going to accept that fucker again, so the only people he could hang out with are the toxic shitheads he enabled for 4, no actually 5, long years. I hope he enjoys not drinking with Bannon while Bannon gets wasted out of his mind and regales Trump with their “good ole days.” He’ll wish he never pardoned him.

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