Hatboy’s Check-In

Where am I at, this sunny August 20th? Well, I’m at home, in my home office, taking a lunch break and writing up a blog post because I haven’t done one in ages. I have a lot of drafts ready to go, but nothing to post yet.

So it’s a check-in.

Work is busy. Hopefully it won’t become so busy that I break, but will also remain busy through the end of the year so I get another year’s contract at our current customer who has not gone tits-up because of the ‘rona. That, I would definitely classify as a priority – and it doesn’t look like finding work to do is going to be difficult.

Wump and Toop are both at school now, which seems to be going well. Mrs. Hatboy is also back at school and enjoying it. The woman is a gift to education and schools are right to fight over her.

I finished writing The Last Alicorn a couple of weeks back. 287 pages, 116,325 words in its draft doc. Now I’m editing it and drawing pictures. The editing is actual editing this time around, because there’s a bunch of backstory and detail I really don’t need and I’m forcing myself to cut it in favour of more jokes and fun. Also the pictures are going to add some bulk to the doc so I’m trying to think of ways around that (cheers to Aaron, incidentally, for pointing me in the direction of a potential editing tool – I still haven’t checked it out because I’m not to that stage yet, but I have my concerns about the publishers’ template just not holding up).

Sooner or later, I hope, I will have an actual draft for my editorial team to read. And I hope I have an editorial team.

I’m also still writing The Last Days of Earth. I complain about this a lot and right now I’m still feeling pretty okay about it all, but I have not been able to write. Not only have I been rendered pretty much exhausted by the pandemic situation, but I’m getting no time to myself, I haven’t had a write night since my weekend at the beginning of the month where I finished The Last Alicorn, there are just too many interruptions. Even talking about it depresses me so I’m going to stop.

We have plumbing and water damage renovation work going on at home. Basically this means no peace, even at work. I have to leave my office door open in case I’m needed to show the workers where shit is. It’s distracting and annoying, although admittedly it’s still better than working in an open floorplan office. Also, our water situation is variable.

All in all, I can’t complain. I mean, I can, and I do, but it’s fine.

On the lighter side, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion released an amazing song called WAP.

“He bought a phone just for pictures of this [Wireless Application Protocol].”
– B, Stallion et al.

Absolute hilarity ensued as the weenies of the conservative right (mainly weenies of the conservative right poster-boy Ben Shapiro, but apparently Tucker Carlson has also started wringing his hands) lost their tiny, tiny minds over it in what has to be the greatest endorsement of popular culture that has ever occurred.

Man, I hope the artists paid Shapiro well for punching himself in the testicles.

Shapiro’s outraged reading of the lyrics not only made it almost instantly into YouTube remixes, but it lent itself to effortless meme-ing. Like the “you laugh, you lose” challenge.

And it only got better when he cited Dr. Shapiro, his wife, who insisted that a wet pussy is a sign of some hospital-worthy yeast infection or other ailment.

Sweet merciful Christ, this poor woman.

Wow.

So anyway, that happened.

How have you all been?

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28 Responses to Hatboy’s Check-In

  1. stchucky says:

    It’s also worth noting that there are now audio clips of Ben Shapiro saying “spit in my mouth.” And, because he censored himself, none of his clips can be used as grounds to de-monetise the YouTube videos mocking him.

    A highlights reel of comments:

    “Facts don’t care about your diminishing sense of self-worth as you slowly realize you are physically unable to pleasure your wife.”

    “Don’t know whether Ben Rapiro, Ben Sha P-word or Cardi AC is a better rapper handle for this king.”

    “Shapiro needs a broom and dust pan for his wife.”

    “Hypothetically, for the sake of the argument. Let’s say that this song is a banger.”

    “For someone who hates socialism, Benny sure likes being publicly owned.”

    • stchucky says:

      I’m also in a little bit of a foul mood (now) because Fixit (the Finnish version of Brexit) has found my bubble and is trying to recruit me online. I am doing everything I can to take a shit on them because they are actively campaigning for the economic and sociocultural destruction of my home country. Fucking morons.

      Looks like they found me because they’re targetting people who live in my area, who are over the age of 25. Of course, if you want a regressive and goddamn idiotic policy pushed through by brain-dead racists for the benefit of scheming corrupt billionaires, you’d better make sure you target out anyone under the age of 25. They have no patience for your bullshit.

      • stchucky says:

        And yes, I reported them, and will continue to report them. As far as I’m concerned, they’re committing a crime.

      • Maybe I can cheer you up with some suggested mottos for them. Even though writing them in English probably would lose something in translation.

        Fixit: Even though it ain’t broken.
        Fixit: Multiculturalism, gotta deep six it.
        Fixit: Immigration, need to nix it.

        And the anti-motto, back to the first:

        If it ain’t broke, don’t Fixit.

      • stchucky says:

        Ohhh, these are good!

  2. Holy shit I didn’t look up Mrs. Shapiro’s “defense” of Ben’s attack on WAP! She really hasn’t ever had a WAP, has she? OMG the ridicule of Ben is true, and this is SO sad. Someone should help her, poor woman. I really mean that. I’m not available, and I wouldn’t get within 10 feet of a woman supporting someone and something so vile, but I do hope she gets some help.

    Yeast infection? Now I understand the yeast infection joke Sam Seder rambled into yesterday! LMAO!

    I mean, these conservatives really don’t know what a pleased woman is like, do they? I didn’t want to believe it, I felt bad thinking it, but I guess there’s something to it.

    Also thanks for the mention in your blog for my lazy email remark that Daniel Greene did a video about some world building tool (pretty good paraphrase here) without giving you a name or any other signpost to the video! I definitely didn’t deserve the honorable mention. Maybe it deserved a “yellow sticky of appreciation” as the office humor goes.

  3. Toon says:

    👍
    Good to hear from ya, Hatboy!

  4. Beer Rot says:

    Recent news in my world:

    Got FB Jailed again and said fuck it and deleted it. I’m now on a quest to get my IG banned, because I hate IG… It takes less than a day for me to get banned anytime I make a Twitter account.

    All my ratings and reviews have been deleted on Amazon (sorry, sad face) and my ability to leave reviews has been shut off, for no known reason.. I’ve emailed them, they’ve ignored me.

    Covid is starting to ramp up in Montana, work has been getting busy, and the white man is once again fucking over the Indians with a respiratory disease…. although in the white man’s defense this time, the natives on the rez I work on can’t seem to wear their fucking masks and wash their fucking hands.

    I bring you this gem which I found extremely satisfying to watch:

    • Beer Rot says:

      p.s. for fuck sake can you drop a hint with C that there are people actually waiting for his next book?

      I mean.. life is pain, work sucks, and the working man gotta eat. But the very insistent bookworm in my dark bitter soul gives no fucks. I want more Shivs, more Nysta, and more weird vampire shit.

      • stchucky says:

        Mister C lost his hard drive and all his work, and has officially quit writing. He is doing porno games for subscribers at this point. That’s all I know.

        Hopefully I’ll have more books for you soon. It’s been absolutely shit over here.

      • Beer Rot says:

        He kept all his work on a single hard drive? I call bullshit, tell that man to shove the poor excuses, break out his backup, and get to work.. or start from scratch if he was that big a doofus.

      • stchucky says:

        He lost his main drive and then the backup failed and he gave up on it. I think he was looking for reasons to quit due to his stress, anxiety and depression anyway. Writers.

    • stchucky says:

      Holy shit dude.

      I have more, but I’m just gonna rest on this a while. Stay safe.

      • Beer Rot says:

        Life has been a constant drive for me.

        I bought a gun, an air rifle, going to get a bow and violin. Between all those, a punching bag, bike, and *trying* to study to keep up to date on my career I’m not really missing all that much with internet stuff.

        I tried Red Dead Redemption 2, was so disappointed I deleted it after 30 hours. RDR was a national treasure, and this sequel has amazing potential but it seems like the bugs I experienced are known BS.

        I *still* have not finished BotW, I just love that game and love running around it… I’ve got all the shrines and a good percentage of the seeds. I cannot for the life of me finish the mini-adventure to upgrade the master sword to it’s top level… One day I’ll actually kill Ganon.

      • Beer Rot says:

        Life has been busy for me lately and I don’t have kids, can’t imagine you’re just sitting around on your ass.

        I bought a gun, an air rifle, going to get a Mongolian horsebow and violin for the winter. Between all those, a punching bag, bike, and *trying* to study to keep up to date on my career I’m not really missing all that much with internet stuff.

        I tried Red Dead Redemption 2, was so disappointed I deleted it after 30 hours. RDR was a national treasure, and this sequel has amazing potential but it seems like the bugs I experienced are known BS they refuse to fix.

        I *still* have not finished BotW, I just love that game and love running around it… I’ve got all the shrines and a good percentage of the seeds. I cannot for the life of me finish the mini-adventure to upgrade the master sword to it’s top level… One day I’ll actually kill Ganon.

        I looked, there’s no way to send fresh game meat over to you, really wanted to send you some Bison and Elk. But I will send some more meat seasoning if I can find any up here that are interesting. Oh duh now that I think about it, I work on a reservation.. I’ll send you and the kids some native stuff. Cough up $3,000 and I’ll send you a full size buffalo skin, head included.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Fresh bison and elk OH JESUS FUCK I’m in America I’m a hell of a lot closer than Ch—Hatboy. Send it here dude! Nice to see you active B to the ole T W.

      • stchucky says:

        I’ll start saving!

        Animal Crossing is the game of the household right now, it’s very chill and I get to actually opt out of loans and work and all the bullshit that seems to actually be the point of the game. I live in a tent on the beach surrounded by garbage.

        The reservation and hunting sounds great! I’m blessed with some hunters in my life, it’s wonderful. I’d love to hear more about it, last I heard you were finishing up your studies and working as a sawbones, haven’t heard about the reservation or your movements. Share as much as you feel like.

    • stchucky says:

      And that video was super cute. Thanks!

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