No, this is nothing to do with blackface. Nor is it intended to shame anyone for their sexual habits, or even comment on sex as anything but a metaphor.

Yesterday I had a fun random inspiration that I thought I would share with you.

It’s difficult to be certain of anything thanks to false information and the echo chamber / social media bubble effect. But the following three points seem fairly clear:

  • A lot of regular people want human civilisation to continue into the next century.
  • A lot of scientists seem to think it’s not going to happen unless we dramatically reduce our carbon emissions.
  • lot of the politicians and industrial leaders responsible for making this happen aren’t going to do it.

To cut a long story both short and graphic, too many of our so-called leaders would rather give the fossil fuel industry another blowjob than save our fucking species. And, you know, all the species that we eat and / or think are cute.

So I came up with a quick and easy way to shame those leaders. It probably won’t achieve much, but I already have solar panels on my house, fruit trees in my garden and I recycle, so short of becoming a corporate billionaire or dictator of an irresponsibly industrialised nation, I think I’m just about tapped.

Whenever you find a likely photo of a politician or CEO who just loves them some coal fellatio, just put it in Photoshop or applicable program, throw down some black paintbrushing at about 65% opacity, and call it good. I was fancy, and made a new layer so I could delete smudges, but you don’t have to.

Here’s s few I rattled off in my lunch break, featuring Australia’s beloved “Scotty from Marketing.”

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About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
This entry was posted in Hatboy's Nuggets of Crispy-Fried Wisdom, Office Posts, Random and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Blackmouth

  1. aaronthepatriot says:


    And damnit.

  2. KMA says:

    A three way of scodoh, howard and an unamed coal exec is not something I want to picture in my head. Bad Charles bad.

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