In preparation for Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker next week, and given our extremely packed schedule for the next few days, I decided to give Wump a crash course in Star Wars.
Basically, we watched Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. Toop sat up and joined us, because she hadn’t quite gone to sleep yet and was very sad about the fact that big sister got to stay up, and so I felt bad.
What’s my reasoning? It’s the worst of the original movies, right? Well, tish and pish to your opinion, it’s actually the best one. But quite aside from that, it shows Palpatine and the Death Star and their fate. Those, I am led to believe, will be important things to know for Episode IX. It also shows Luke and Vader in the fight for Vader’s soul, a bit of Obi Wan and Yoda, and the relationship between Luke, Leia and Han.
 Sorry, his midi-chlorians.
Fun fact, when Luke told Leia she was his sister and then departed to confront Vader, and they shared a hug and a kiss goodbye, Toop said “how can they kiss if they’re brother and sister?” Really cutting to the important and timeless questions there. I’m glad I didn’t throw Episode V into the mix.
So anyway, from Episode VI I can explain, if we don’t have time, what happened with Han and Leia, how Luke tried to train their kid who became Kylo Ren, and how the Empire sorta-kinda stuck around after the Battle of Endor. Which, having seen the movie again, really does make a lot more sense than it being gone forever. There were a ton of planets and infrastructure and only a small amount of them were at Endor (and not even all of those were destroyed). But anyway.
The movie still holds up. I’m not sure when I last watched it, but it was a few years ago I’m sure. It’s still fun. Wump and Toop loved the Ewoks (or “the pandas” as they called them), and were very sad when they got blasted all to fuck. Fun movie and Wump liked the celebration ending. Toop was asleep in my lap by that stage. The rigours of keeping up with big sis are tough.
Fun fact #2, when Vader lay dying I was just thinking to myself damn, he really kinda looks like Stellan Skarsgård, when Wump said, “he looks like the dad in the Jack Sparrow movies, the one who was absorbed into the ship.” That’s my girl.
Neither of them have really gotten into Star Wars, partly because we have yet to have a proper un-fucked viewing of any of the movies. Wump had watched Episode I before now, and she liked Jar Jar (and that’s alright, that’s the way it’s supposed to be), but she was Toop’s age at the time (five; it was just before Episode VII came out) and it was a distracting Fahrenheit Movie Marathon situation and she got bored. Last night it was exhaustion after looking after my nephews all evening, combined with trying to get two-year-old Gug to stay in bed, combined with the sound on the DVD being shit (I am yet to figure out what setting I need to use in order to make the music and sound effects quieter and the dialogue louder – it was possible with Lord of the Rings but with this DVD set it may just not be possible) making it really hard to follow. Plus a lot of day wunna wunga that either I had to read out or Wump had to read. So yeah.
 Not his real name any more than Wump or Toop are.
They’re not into Star Wars, and that’s alright. We’ll see what they’re into. And in the meantime, they’re both definitely into staying up late to watch movies, and Wump is definitely into going to the cinema with mum and dad and their weird friends. So let’s do that, and let’s see where this big dumb saga is actually heading.