Captain Marvel (a review)

Alright, I’ve fallen a bit behind on my movie reviews and there’s been a lot going on, so let’s start with a nice easy one that everyone can agree on.

And feel free to enjoy some of the low-hanging fruit I’ve also gone to absolutely no trouble to prepare.

I went to see this movie with Wump and the Itkoblooms and a half-dozen close friends a couple of weeks ago, and … I … liked it?


Okay Google, “woman surrounded by flames”…

Apparently this has been a very divisive movie, mainly because of stuff going on outside the movie and since this is a movie review I won’t actually bother talking about that stuff. Because what would be the logic in that? Don’t be silly.

I did, however, hear some criticisms actually related to the movie, so let’s start there.

1. The characters were shallow, wooden and uninteresting.

Heh, nice one.

2. The story was boring and thematically bland.

Hahahahahaha, oh that’s gold.

3. There were continuity problems fitting it into the existing MCU.

Bwaahahahahaha oh no, continuity problems! Better watch out!

4. It wasn’t faithful to the comic books.


Okay, *wipes eyes* but seriously now. Opinions are wonderful things and everybody gets one, and that’s fine. If you didn’t like the movie, that’s unfortunate but it doesn’t make you wrong. I liked it but that doesn’t make me right. I don’t really get how we arrived at a place where that sort of thinking was even a thing, except I guess we’ve always pretty much been that way. Which leaves us with the alternatives of continuing to do that, or … to, to stop. Stop doing that.

This here is the only format in which I will accept criticisms and movie reviews from now on, incidentally. Not entirely invalid in my opinion, and at least entertaining.

But yeah. I’m sorry you wasted your time seeing it. Sincerely. If you wasted significantly more of your time trying to convince everyone else not to like the movie, my sympathy is a little diluted but sure, you do you. I’m a big boy. And if we’re all being oversensitive, “expressing your opinion of movie” and “trying to convince everyone else not to like movie” are going to feel similar, I can dig it.

The movie, incidentally, seems to be doing just fine in terms of box office and viewer response. Which is nice to see.

And if you like numbers, here are some good ones.

I knew nothing about the character and was dubious at first. When Mr. Fahrenheit explained the end-credits scene to Infinity War, it was interesting in an “is this where the whole ‘Marvel’ name comes from?” way. The idea of the character wasn’t immediately convincing or compelling.

But then I saw the whole expanse of the MCU that Captain Marvel represented! The Green Lantern-esque origins, except – you know – without the Green Lantern part. All of it, it was just fun to see. And it coincided perfectly with the back-story expanded-universe style worldbuilding that I was doing in Greyblade. I dug it. I sympathised with the challenge the storytellers faced. And I really enjoyed seeing how it all fitted together.

Because when you take what we learned in Captain Marvel, it changes a lot of things we knew about the Avengers’ world, and especially the Guardians of the Galaxy’s world. I won’t go into it right now, not much time or energy, but wow. Talk about exactly what I wanted to do with my own prequel series and other datapoints. This movie got me back to watching a selection of older Marvel movies in preparation for sitting down with Wump and watching Infinity War and then Endgame, which I’m sure was exactly the point.

For example, the Collector didn’t have a Dark Elf in a display case in Guardians of the Galaxy, it was a Skrull. Which is absolutely cool. And then there’s little stuff like this, although of course it was easier to put in Easter Eggs this late in the game.

Yeah, I thought it was cool. And refreshingly different in terms of character behaviour, motivation, and responses. Some of the comic book tropes they overturned were so big, I didn’t think they could be overturned. How does a universe formed out of the primordial narrativium allow a bad guy to throw away his weapons and demand a ‘fair fight’, and that fight not to happen?


Speaking of fair fights, pretty much all the fight scenes were great. I’m not generally a big fan of the kick-punch-kick-punch-flip hoo-hah-hyah stuff, so this was a nice balance.

And man oh man, the music. The music was absolutely on. It was like being back in high school.

So yeah, with all the great scenes and characters and story, as well as a cat you need to see to believe, I really enjoyed this movie. If you didn’t enjoy it, that’s entirely your call and I’m sorry. I’m not here to tell you it was good – only that I thought it was good. I’ll give it a Flerken out of a possible very slightly cooler Flerken. Sorry but I told you I was out of time here.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
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17 Responses to Captain Marvel (a review)

  1. brknwntr says:

    read the first paragraph….

    ” so let’s start with a nice easy one that everyone can agree on.”

    Had to take a 5 minute laughter break.

  2. brknwntr says:

    Oh jesus Hatboy, your killing me.

    “Opinions are wonderful things and everybody gets one, and that’s fine. If you didn’t like the movie, that’s unfortunate but it doesn’t make you wrong.”

    Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. By this logic, no asshole, no opinions.

    and I cant read the rest because I spent too long laughing about these two bits.

  3. Dan O. says:

    Had fun with this. As is expected with Marvel. Nice review.

  4. aaronthepatriot says:

    Discussed to death so just gonna pluswon you here. If anyone wants to come on here and whinge I stand ready. Maybe

    • stchucky says:

      Heh, it’s been emotional.

    • stchucky says:

      I do think you’d like that video on the numbers I linked, though. It’s long, but it’s definitely worthwhile – and not just for the movie’s sake, but for Internet debates in general I think.

      He was fairly meh about the movie himself but the video isn’t a review, his opinion doesn’t really come into it because it’s all about the facts.

  5. putlocker says:

    new hero from marvel, she is super, love the movie

  6. JonathanBloom says:

    I liked it quite a bit.

    I love it even more for the amount of temper tantrums that it’s causing grown ass men to have.

  7. dreameling says:

    I also really liked the movie. Granted, I went into the theater wanting to like the movie, but I’m pretty sure I did genuinely like it.

    It was by no means a perfect or brilliant movie, and there’s perfectly valid criticism you can level at it. And you should be able to do that without being labelled a misogynist. You should also be able to like or love the movie without being attacked as a misandrist feminist.

    It can’t be that hard, right?

  8. Pingback: Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (a review) | Hatboy's Hatstand

  9. stchucky says:

    A bit of a semi-anniversary throwback here, but I can’t believe so many guys seemed to miss the really, really obvious point of this movie’s character arc:

    And the note about Danvers and Fury and their professional relationship and friendship is really nice. It just reminds me of Spider-Man: Far From Home which we re-watched the other day. Parker is asking if anyone else can do the hard work:

    PARKER: What about Captain Marvel-
    FURY: Don’t invoke her name.

    This, at a quick google, also looks like something a lot of guys are missing the point on and are baffled. Come on, it’s pretty obvious isn’t it? Get her name out of your dillweed mouth and get to work.

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