Hey, old cunts. Hey, Marea (and Marea). Hey Bruce. Hey Glen and Janeen.

Do you feel that?

That feeble, silly little flutter of fearful bravado as you do your best to stare down the people who you know, in your heart of shrivelled black hearts, are going to see your carcasses into the ground where they belong? That last little engorging of the withered flesh as you stand up to this, the manifestation of your own mortality? That fitful rush of blood as you say “how true is this!” to this shitty, pathetic, blame-dodging lie?

You feel it? Feels good to stick it to these kids who are going to outlive you, doesn’t it? Ungrateful, whining little bastards, what right do they have to live in a world where you were just starting to get comfortable? Feels good to look down on them, belittle them, point out how weak they are.

Well, don’t worry. I know you tried. You almost created a generation of docile sheep, organ banks who would keep you alive while considerately dying young themselves. You almost created a world that would choke them to death while you enjoyed to the fullest every last scrap of resources you could grab from their flailing, grasping hands.

Fuck you, you stupid, vicious, entitled old cunts.

Schools have media equipment and climate control today because that shit has been invented. You think you wouldn’t have had it when you were at school, if it had been freely available? Think again, you bunch of mealy-mouthed pieces of human garbage. You would’ve been all over it like old on you.

And yes, it’s a nice idea to ask the teachers to turn off the air conditioning. As if the teachers have the authority to do that, in the education system you’ve created. While you’re busy being so tough and independent and superior, why not turn off the climate control in the house or office or aged care home you’re sitting in? Mmm. Hypocritical cunt is my favourite cunt.

Good idea to walk or ride to school, too. Absolutely moronic of you to assume a lot of them aren’t already doing it, but nice try. Who do those caravans of private cars belong to again? Not the students, that’s for sure. Probably not the teachers either. They can’t afford ’em. A lot of those who don’t walk or ride to school, in fact, are unable to because you fucking losers never actually improved things to facilitate that sort of thing. No profit in that, was there? Oh, it was fine to walk or ride to school when you were little. You know what you bunch of no-hopers have done since then? You’ve added ten million cars. And gotten too old to drive them safely, you doddering, fumbling derelicts.

Oh, and maybe today’s students wouldn’t need air conditioning in school if you disgusting trust-fund frauds hadn’t raped the fuck out of the environment for them, you ever think of that? That means it is objectively hotter now. You might not agree with that, of course, because so much of your precious remaining energy is poured into denying climate change is even happening.

Switch off those electronic devices and read a book? You mean, a book made out of pulped trees, which was the only way we could do them before now? At a staggering ratio of one book per book, while today’s devices can hold thousands – hundreds of thousands – functionally infinite books because they can access the Internet? Another thing that didn’t exist when you fuckwits were young? Great idea. That’ll fix things. No need for you to do fuck all but sneer fearfully down your wrinkly old noses.

Sure, electronic devices have a carbon footprint. And I don’t care for the silly buggers who keep upgrading and buying new devices according to fashion, either. There are more constructive ways to handle that problem than by name calling (although I admit I am beginning to see how fucking satisfying it can be).

First of all, we can do away with planned obsolescence which is an invention of … *checks notes* … you cunts.

Secondly, we can stop buying new devices every time our clueless arses fill the old one up with spam or fail to update the software so it breaks or falls into disuse. Oh no, that’s not school kids. That would be you, you antique chuckleheads. And the makers of the devices aim their shit at whoever has the most disposable income. That’s you as well. You, you pieces of shit.

Thirdly, and not to get all militant-communist on you, but we could dismantle the late-stage capitalist system of marketing and sales which is the driving force – again, sorry, largely controlled by you whining dinosaurs on your endless quest to own all the money – behind the constant flood of new gadgets. But it’s really not necessary to go that far. Nor does it even make sense. Because this seems to be another thing you useless old fogeys don’t understand (among a fucking warehouse full of things) – the concept of an invention, a technology, that advances so fast that by the time the latest model is on shelves, it’s already being supplanted in the factory. We can limit this shit and be happy with what we have, true, there is a happy medium – but this is a fact of life and you idiots are not equipped for it so get the fuck out of the way.

Make a sandwich instead of buying manufactured goods? Great idea! You stupid old cunt.

Again, this is directly related to technology and manufacturing capability that didn’t exist 30 years ago. Is it young people’s fault this shit exists? I think you’ll find that it’s down to the multinational conglomerates, the energy companies, and all the rest of it – and those are the motherfuckers that the kids are actually protesting against. It’s all very well to make a sandwich and walk to school (Jesus fucking Christ what a sanctimonious dipshit you are), but if those global corporations and national governments don’t take steps, it’s going to be for nothing. But hey, at least they would have had a nice snack and a walk in the smog before being poisoned by decades of your toxic corporate farts.

Because who has the power in all of those institutions?

Oh, it’s you cunts again.

That’s why they’re protesting. And that’s why you’re striking back with terror in your rheumy old eyes and a tremble in your greedy old claws. Because you still run the show – and if you don’t make this somehow their fault, sooner or later enough people are going to realise how shit you are at running the show, and you will be removed. And you will lose everything.

Because that’s all you ever wanted, isn’t it? Everything?

Oh, and I see you slipped a jab about immigration in there too, just to put the cunty racist cherry on your shitty little cake. Well done. Well done. Wouldn’t have been an out-of-touch rant from a hate-filled pointless old fossil without one of those. I was almost feeling sorry for you for a second there.

You stupid old fools. Just hurry up and die.