Interlude: Infinity War (Hatboy’s Dream)

I dream of a world where people of all genders, orientations, cultures and creeds live and work together in harmony.

I dream of a world where fast food chains put their take-away napkins in a stack instead of interfolding them.

I dream of a world where people educate themselves instead of clinging to irrational hatred and fear taught to them by their elders.

I dream of a world where people share useful things, like links to my books, instead of “type your favourite kind of poo in the comments and click share and Mark Zuckerberg will send a dollar to the Bristol Stool Foundation for Incontinent Children.”

I dream of a world where love, understanding and respect are starting conditions rather than caution and suspicion.

And I dream of a world where filmmakers are brave enough to let the ending of Infinity War stand, instead of walking it back in some bullshit cop-out probably-time-travel-involving way in the next movie.

Please be warned, I will probably just go full spoiler in the comments so maybe stay out if you don’t want to know what happened in the movie. I don’t consider the above a spoiler because we were all pretty sure something crazy brutal was going to happen in this one. Just … come on. See the movie.

– Sent from my Huawei mobile phone while on the bus

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28 Responses to Interlude: Infinity War (Hatboy’s Dream)

  1. stchucky says:

    Okay, first and foremost of my many thoughts:

    Thanos’s solution for an unsustainable biological growth model was fucking dumb. But okay.

    Second:

    Doctor Strange said there was no way in Hell he would give up the Time Stone to save any of the Avengers, then he looked at 14 million futures and saw one where they won, then suddenly he gave up the Time Stone to save Tony, and right at the end he said this was the only way. So yeah, this is definitely the one timeline they have a shot at winning, which means there is a plan and I will probably be disappointed by it.

    Third:

    There was a ton of flying and punching and bashing in this one. I guess it was unavoidable since they had so many characters and they all needed a shot. But it was relentless. Oh well, at least the witty quips were minimised.

    • aaronthepatriot says:

      OK, first things first, the basic impression. I thought the overall movie was awesome, best Marvel movie so far, Deadpool aside, in a LONG time. I actually enjoyed the Guardians this time. And funny Thor! And giant Tyrion. Nice. Well played. I think for me the key to enjoying the Guardians is small doses. And now that half of them are gone[1] it should work great.

      [1] Like fuck they are. Marvel, you overreached and totally fucked up. Moron that in a bit.

      Best set of lines. Gomorrah and Star Lord, “I’m asking you to trust me. And possibly kill me.”………………… *crunch crunch*
      “How long have you been standing there??”
      “About an hour” (scene was like 2 minutes).

      LMAO

      I thought it was excellent how the losses were mixed with victories, however small. I thought the movie had a great pace, and managed to give you plenty to feel good about in-between Thanos’s titanic victories. And HA HA to fucking every idiot who believed the trailer was showing us the henchman took the mindstone from Vision early on. That’ll teach you! I LOLed at that rescue, in a relieved and exhilarated way.

      But Marvel, goddamnit, you fucked up. You wiped off too many of the biggest draws (and some of the newest ones at that) in your universe. Now I don’t have to wonder if you’ll walk it back, which I would if you had been less ambitious. Now I just fucking KNOW you’ll walk it back, and that rightly pisses me off.[2]

      [2] Doctor Strange, Spiderman, AND Black Panther, for starters? Come the fuck on. I call bullshit.[3]

      [3] Oh I know, their next movies could be PRE Infinity War. Does anyone think that would be as much of a draw? I say fuck that. I’m not watching ANY of the heroes they wiped out here in some pre-Infinity War time if a movie comes out later. Fuck you, Marvel. Own it.

      So many people done fucked up and helped Thanos to win. I thought that was his thing, to fuck up and doubt himself and lose. Instead it was the Avengers fucking up, that let him win. Star Lord when they almost had the gauntlet, Scarlet Witch over and over not doing what needed to be done, but I get it. I know, love, blah blah blah. I knew he’d just rewind that moment.

      But, couldn’t SOMEONE have actually just cut his arm off when he was under the empath’s power? Sheesh.

      I think you’re probably right, Doctor Strange saw that he had to give in to win. But…he’s gone, so that’ll be interesting eh? I will watch the next Avengers movie that goes forward, for sure. Just not watching Spiderman 2: Senior Prom, or Black Panther 2: Bigger and Blacker and Before Thanos. Nope. Nuh-uh.

      Anyone know who Nick Fury was calling just before he became dust on the wind? It was presented as important, but I didn’t recognize the logo. Asking here before searching for fan posts.

      • stchucky says:

        Fury was calling Captain Marvel, which is who we’ll be seeing next.

        As for the rest of your excellent points, I’m in full agreement. Add Star Lord and Groot to the lost heroes, and you’ve also lost Guardians 3. Since we know all these sequels are in the making already … yeah, they’re rolling it back. Which I’d be happier if they didn’t do it, but of course I want more Spidey, Black Panther, and Guardians.

        More later, but yep. Agreed.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Ahh, I see now Ant Man in the quantum realm alongside Captain Marvel is expected to reverse The Snap somehow. OK. So the technology from Ant Man is going to rival at least one infinity stone, or somesuch. Guess I need to see Ant Man. The sequel looks really funny.

        “You gave her wings? I guess…you didn’t have that technology when you were designing my suit?”

        “…no we had it…” [awkward silence]

        I don’t see any mention of Thanos in the Captain Marvel wikipedia. So this will be new ground, I guess. But what do I know?

      • stchucky says:

        Ant Man was surprisingly good. I think the longer the shot, the brighter Marvel seems to shine.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Oh and I need to discuss the bad guy himself and his Big Stupid Plan ™. I thought overall he was rather excellent bad guy. Probably one of my favorites in recent memory. Well written, somewhat sympathetic, certainly with his own moral code. I venture to say, honest or honorable, pick whichever one offends less.

        But yeah, his plan was stupid. Everyone knows you shouldn’t do random genocide. You should kill off the useless ones. So, mostly men, here. One man can service several women, surely. And would be glad to XD

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Another thing I forgot to mention yesterday (so much, surely this ain’t all of it) was the amusing thing I noticed watching the credits scroll. My eyes alighted upon the cooking section of the credits, where it seems most of the actors and actresses (or do we just say actors now? Don’t want to be sexist but it’s hard to keep track of which is best LOL), and two of the actors–NOT the actresses–had their own personal chefs. Any guesses?

        “Chef for Mr. Downey” and “Chef for Mr. Hemsworth” were listed. LULZ

        I think I can see it.

      • stchucky says:

        Fussy sons of bitches.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Argh I meant to say *where it seems most of the actors and actresses just use the main cooks

        Got lost in my feminist aside and forgot to finish the sentence. I blame…ok I blame myself. I’ll stop digging XD

      • stchucky says:

        I assume, since Gwyneth had a cameo role in the movie, everyone else just ate kale and shredded burlap or whatever crazy shit Gwyneth thinks is good for you.

      • stchucky says:

        Emergency Awesome on YouTube has great fangeek stuff though, by the way. That’s my source of choice.

      • stchucky says:

        Best set of lines. Gomorrah and Star Lord, “I’m asking you to trust me. And possibly kill me.”………………… *crunch crunch*
        “How long have you been standing there??”
        “About an hour” (scene was like 2 minutes).

        Bahahahaha, loved that.

        I was sort of hoping (although I know a lot of people including me complain about the mood-destroying quips and the telegraphed punchlines) that when Gamora and Quill were having their “you have to kill me before I give in to Thanos” moment, she would say “if anything happens to me … I want you to promise … promise me … you’ll shave off that stupid-arse moustache.”

        But Marvel, goddamnit, you fucked up. You wiped off too many of the biggest draws (and some of the newest ones at that) in your universe. Now I don’t have to wonder if you’ll walk it back, which I would if you had been less ambitious. Now I just fucking KNOW you’ll walk it back, and that rightly pisses me off.[2]

        Well, yeah. That’s true. I guess it was pretty obvious it was all going to be walked back anyway, as Linza said – anyone remotely familiar with the comics will know this. I still would far prefer a multi-movie arc continuity where the dead stay dead. That would be a nice way to both retire old actors and distinguish the cinematic universe from the comic book universe.

        Never mind the fact that “half the people in the universe, randomly” would under absolutely no circumstances mean even approximately half of the Avengers. It was just as likely to be all of them, or none of them. In fact, the entire population of Earth would hardly be a blip on that graph.

        But that might be over-picky. Let’s call it a symbolically selective “fair” random, with half of every type and level of living thing being destroyed.

        Also, one for the comic buffs: Did Thanos only kill half the sentient life forms? Or did he destroy half the entire biomass? Because if he did that, I’m pretty sure the rest is dead anyway.

        [3] Oh I know, their next movies could be PRE Infinity War. Does anyone think that would be as much of a draw? I say fuck that. I’m not watching ANY of the heroes they wiped out here in some pre-Infinity War time if a movie comes out later. Fuck you, Marvel. Own it.

        I’m hearing that Ant-Man and the Wasp will be set before Infinity War, just so we can see why they weren’t there and hopefully so we can have an ash-dissolve scene at the end to show the timelines syncing up. Otherwise, yeah. They have to do Avengers 4 first, roll all the big names back to life, and then do all their sequels. There’s no real tension there. At most, I got an excited little thrill of “oh snap, they killed the really popular ones, Star Lord and Groot and Black Panther and Spidey. Albeit briefly, but yeah, they did it.”

        At most.

        But generally no. I wasn’t even remotely gut-punched or saddened by the ash-dissolves. Iron Man and Spidey acted theirs out pretty beautifully and that was poignant, but there was no sense of finality to it. Just a disappointing “aw, they’re not going to let any of these deaths stick.”

        Vision might be gone for good, and whoever else died before the ash-dissolve. I don’t think Gamora will be one of the perma-dead, because her soul is still around. But maybe someone will have to sacrifice themselves for her. Thanos himself? Relegation to Red Skull exile would fit.

        So many people done fucked up and helped Thanos to win. I thought that was his thing, to fuck up and doubt himself and lose.

        To be fair, that’s probably what’s going to happen in Avengers 4.

        Instead it was the Avengers fucking up, that let him win. Star Lord when they almost had the gauntlet, Scarlet Witch over and over not doing what needed to be done, but I get it. I know, love, blah blah blah. I knew he’d just rewind that moment.

        Gah, that pile-on and gauntlet-removal was so frustrating to watch. Although I keep having hilarious flashbacks to it when I’m pillow-fighting and wrestling with my kids now. I grab a toy, they pile on me, Toop clutches my head and does “magic” while Wump tries to pry my fingers off the toy, I kneel there groaning … it’s basically a reenactment of that scene.

        I’m torn over the gauntlet / stones power. I think it was cool the way Thanos used it to undo Vision’s death and turn Star Lord’s gun into a soap bubble dispenser … but at the same time, that is utterly overpowered and why doesn’t he just do that to all of Iron Man’s guns, Spidey’s webslinger, Mantis’s antennae? Why not just reverse time as soon as the Avengers “surprise” him, and circle behind them and kill them one by one?

        I get that he’s meant to be just that overpowered, but damn.

        Meh, oh well. Despite all this wrangling, I really did enjoy the movie and all those scenes were really fun to watch. I was not disappointed by the final assembled Infinity Gauntlet.

        But, couldn’t SOMEONE have actually just cut his arm off when he was under the empath’s power? Sheesh.

        Would’ve been a neat thing for Drax to do. But then where would the movie have gone?

        I think you’re probably right, Doctor Strange saw that he had to give in to win. But…he’s gone, so that’ll be interesting eh? I will watch the next Avengers movie that goes forward, for sure. Just not watching Spiderman 2: Senior Prom, or Black Panther 2: Bigger and Blacker and Before Thanos. Nope. Nuh-uh.

        * Panther and Pantherer.

        But yeah, I hope Strange told someone else about the one-in-fourteen-million shot before he dissolved. Or would that information itself change the outcome?

        Looking forward to seeing Ant-Man and the Wasp quantum-travel into the Infinity Stones to do some shit.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Few more things: trailers always lie, it seems, but having Hulk running with the crowd in Wakanda when it was actually going to be Banner in the Hulk Buster was bullshit. Hate that crap.

        ‘I was sort of hoping (although I know a lot of people including me complain about the mood-destroying quips and the telegraphed punchlines) that when Gamora and Quill were having their “you have to kill me before I give in to Thanos” moment, she would say “if anything happens to me … I want you to promise … promise me … you’ll shave off that stupid-arse moustache.”’

        I’m…fine with the scene as it was….

        ‘Well, yeah. That’s true. I guess it was pretty obvious it was all going to be walked back anyway, as Linza said – anyone remotely familiar with the comics will know this. I still would far prefer a multi-movie arc continuity where the dead stay dead. That would be a nice way to both retire old actors and distinguish the cinematic universe from the comic book universe.’

        Although I believe, and perhaps Linza can confirm, Thanos actually wipes out ALL life, not half.

        ‘Never mind the fact that “half the people in the universe, randomly” would under absolutely no circumstances mean even approximately half of the Avengers. It was just as likely to be all of them, or none of them. In fact, the entire population of Earth would hardly be a blip on that graph.

        But that might be over-picky. Let’s call it a symbolically selective “fair” random, with half of every type and level of living thing being destroyed.’

        Right, sure. Could have happened any way, so I can’t really speculate.

        ‘Also, one for the comic buffs: Did Thanos only kill half the sentient life forms? Or did he destroy half the entire biomass? Because if he did that, I’m pretty sure the rest is dead anyway.’

        Good point. I think the implication was the sentient life forms…on Earth at least we’re the ones who live beyond our means. “Lower” life forms tend to self-regulate.

        ‘I’m hearing that Ant-Man and the Wasp will be set before Infinity War, just so we can see why they weren’t there and hopefully so we can have an ash-dissolve scene at the end to show the timelines syncing up. Otherwise, yeah. They have to do Avengers 4 first, roll all the big names back to life, and then do all their sequels. There’s no real tension there. At most, I got an excited little thrill of “oh snap, they killed the really popular ones, Star Lord and Groot and Black Panther and Spidey. Albeit briefly, but yeah, they did it.”

        At most.’

        Right, I think and hope you’re right. And of course anyone who didn’t die in this movie, I’m happy to watch a spin-off. That’s fair.

        ‘But generally no. I wasn’t even remotely gut-punched or saddened by the ash-dissolves. Iron Man and Spidey acted theirs out pretty beautifully and that was poignant, but there was no sense of finality to it. Just a disappointing “aw, they’re not going to let any of these deaths stick.”’

        Yup, precisely my thoughts, down to the spider.

        ‘Vision might be gone for good, and whoever else died before the ash-dissolve. I don’t think Gamora will be one of the perma-dead, because her soul is still around. But maybe someone will have to sacrifice themselves for her. Thanos himself? Relegation to Red Skull exile would fit.’

        I think the main theory is Nebula, with the Gauntlet, in the Soul Stone. Clue reference. Not your Clue. The Game/Show.

        “So many people done fucked up and helped Thanos to win. I thought that was his thing, to fuck up and doubt himself and lose.”

        ‘To be fair, that’s probably what’s going to happen in Avengers 4.’

        Yeah, fair.

        ‘Gah, that pile-on and gauntlet-removal was so frustrating to watch. Although I keep having hilarious flashbacks to it when I’m pillow-fighting and wrestling with my kids now. I grab a toy, they pile on me, Toop clutches my head and does “magic” while Wump tries to pry my fingers off the toy, I kneel there groaning … it’s basically a reenactment of that scene.’

        Hah so awesome! As Thanos, you know you have the ultimate power in that situation.

        ‘I’m torn over the gauntlet / stones power. I think it was cool the way Thanos used it to undo Vision’s death and turn Star Lord’s gun into a soap bubble dispenser … but at the same time, that is utterly overpowered and why doesn’t he just do that to all of Iron Man’s guns, Spidey’s webslinger, Mantis’s antennae? Why not just reverse time as soon as the Avengers “surprise” him, and circle behind them and kill them one by one?

        I get that he’s meant to be just that overpowered, but damn.’

        Again my thoughts exactly. Once he had the reality stone, he could turn all the heroes into little Picasso thingies. But he didn’t. And so on and so forth. It was great the first time, though…soap bubbles! LMAO! So fitting since it was a Guardians scene.

        ‘Meh, oh well. Despite all this wrangling, I really did enjoy the movie and all those scenes were really fun to watch. I was not disappointed by the final assembled Infinity Gauntlet.’

        Oh, definitely. I’m going to see it again. I’m dragging Marta to it even though she didn’t make it through half of GotG, GotG2, or Thor:Ragnarok. This one, I think she’ll like. Great balance of funny and sad and epic and small wins.

        “But, couldn’t SOMEONE have actually just cut his arm off when he was under the empath’s power? Sheesh.”

        ‘Would’ve been a neat thing for Drax to do. But then where would the movie have gone?’

        That was the one in 14 million in my mind. Damnit.

        ‘But yeah, I hope Strange told someone else about the one-in-fourteen-million shot before he dissolved. Or would that information itself change the outcome?’

        No idea. I think the theory doesn’t require that. My suspicion is this is where they are going (but it has problems…for Marvel):

        About Doctor Strange and his one solution in 14 million where they win, and that being letting Thanos have the Time Stone…I see issues with that.

        Think about what it meant to you when he first said that. You, and everyone else, probably thought “one solution where we stop him from getting all the stones”. Because, of course that’s what he should have meant, because the odds of stopping Thanos were so long.

        Surely, in millions of those futures, Thanos beats them all and gets the stone anyway. So, how is this one different? He beat them all, and got the Time Stone anyway.

        Does that mean that Iron Man is the key? Because his life is the only one spared by giving Thanos the Time Stone.

        If THAT is the case, will Marvel realize that? Will they make him pivotal in a meaningful way? Because if not, the one path to victory was just bullshit.

        ‘Looking forward to seeing Ant-Man and the Wasp quantum-travel into the Infinity Stones to do some shit.’

        Aw yeah!

      • stchucky says:

        Your point about Iron Man being the key – and the reason Strange did what he did – seems to fold into a theory I saw on the Emergency Awesome channel. Thanos has told Iron Man that he’s seen him in a similar situation, like they share a destiny. Some of the earlier visions Stark has had mentioned their similarity. So yeah, Stark being alive is almost certainly a big key. Chances are he’ll be the one to wield the repurposed Infinity Gauntlet.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Hey, does this make me Emergency Awesome material as well?

        Well, cool. Maybe Marvel really is all over this.

  2. Oh man! Not reading your comment, but to borrow a callously familiar comment from Obama, he killed some folks, eh?

  3. thelinza says:

    Did… Did you read the books…?

    • stchucky says:

      Obviously not. Only comics I read are Deadpool, but I know the basics. This was the Infinity Quest story, basically, ending with Thanos’s finger-snap. Next movie will actually be the Infinity War.

      Or something like that.

      I’m still going to be disappointed by whatever they do to walk this back. But yes, I get that comic books have been “killing” characters forever, to such an extent that even by the 60s they had to say “really dies! Not a dream! Not an alternate universe! Not a fake hero!” on their covers. And all the comic book characters are still alive.

      • thelinza says:

        It’s pretty much the only thing they CAN do. Lots of these actors have four and five more films in their contracts.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        I’m going to see this today at noon…I’ll start concocting my theories of how they back out of…whatever y’all are talking about…immediately thereafter.

        I think I’ve whinged about canon and dirty tricks like deaths not sticking more than Hatboy, at least in our conversations together, so this thread is refreshing XD

        If any of us were going in with a blank slate (not having seen or heard any of the deaths) I’d still put a wager they don’t kill Black Panther. Or at least he’s absolutely not actually dead/whatever. As the jokes have gone, Marvel’s not insane, they still want to make money!

      • stchucky says:

        Yep, at least Spiderman 2 is underway. And they’d be idiots not to do more Bla Panther.

      • stchucky says:

        Wow, that comment did not come out as planned. But it’s too epic to fix.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        well totes don’t fix it yet for sure, as I ent reading it yet!

  4. aaronthepatriot says:

    OK just as a small note before my larger comment post, I totally thought you meant it about “Bla Panther”. Just a bunch of ninjas flying around and kicking, I can totally see you not being into it. Even though I know you were. LOL

    • stchucky says:

      Hee, nah they weren’t ninjas, it was fine. Although you’re right, I wasn’t super into the fighty-fighty. Still, no, Bla Panther was an autocorrect. A hilarious, hilarious autocorrect.

    • aaronthepatriot says:

      LMAO

      Found myself wanting to defend the honor of Thanos and his goons at a couple of points in there. Then I reminded myself it was humor. No, not talking about the White House. Definitely not. Nothing funny about that shit.

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