Fuck you, Finnish bureaucracy. Just fuck you.

Day 78. 132,926 words.

Today, as I have done every few months since having my cancer operation, I called the depot to order up a new set of colostomy bags.

I shit in one of these per day, one every couple of days if I’m having a lucky low-volume week in the poop department. So I need new ones on a regular basis.

And Finland’s system, of course, is amazing. The bags are free, and the system … okay, it’s a pain in the dick but that’s fine. You can call Monday to Thursday, 11:00 to 12:00, to order new bags. And that’s it. So there’s a certain amount of waiting in phone-line.

But it’s gotta be done, or I’m shitting on the goddamn floor.

After placing the call, which is usually a matter of a few minutes waiting and then a few seconds talking, a big old box of colostomy bags is delivered to the depot under my name, and although that too has utterly fucktarded operating hours and practices, it’s reasonably reliable. I go there, give my name to the night manager, and he hands over my big old box.

Today, I learned (when I called the numbers given to me back in the day) that the number has changed. Fine, that’s a pain in the dick but what was I expecting from Finnish health services? Would have been nice to have been informed in some way that the number had changed but okay. I went to the website to check the new number.

Got the new number (oh yeah, and the hours too, now it’s Monday to Friday I can call, 12:00 to 13:00. Guess you lazy punks don’t get Friday off anymore, sucks to be you), that was fine. And then I saw that they also have an electronic form.

Hot diggity, welcome to 1995!

So I signed up, using my e-banking codes for some fucking fucktarded reason to verify my identity, isn’t there just some easier way of establishing who I am? Oh, and of course that failed. I can’t create an account. Not with my e-bank, not in any way. It bounces back to a “failed” page every time. So yeah, your cunting electronic ordering form doesn’t work, chuckleheads. Not that it would have worked reliably even if I’d managed to make an account. Fuck you.

So, back to the phone I go.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy. https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
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3 Responses to Fuck you, Finnish bureaucracy. Just fuck you.

  1. stchucky says:

    Oh yeah, and it turns out I wasn’t not hungover yesterday. I was still drunk yesterday. Today I am hungover. But not too badly. Just “gee I wish I could have slept until 11 again today” hungover.

  2. aaronthepatriot says:

    Hee! Ok but seriously, what a bunch of shit. Ok, really seriously, sorry for your loss…of time and of a nice still drunk.

    • stchucky says:

      The good news is, I got through on the phone and they were able to confirm my order which is ready for pick-up. The even better news is, this afternoon I should be alright to drive!

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