What I Did On My Holidays, 2017-2018, Day 11 (Part 1)

Day 41. 92,330 words. Another movie session with the old guard today, but I won’t report in real time. Reviews, as ever, forthcoming. And no writing progress is likely.

Our first day in Perth was a busy one. We hit Claremont so Tinny could take Wump and Toop shoe-shopping, and then – since it was now the 3rd of January and the staff would all be back from holidays – my brother and I cruised out to the airport to try our luck tracking down my lost bag.

This, we decided, was going to be better than continuing to make fruitless calls and e-mails to the airport lost and found.

What followed was little short of a Homerian epic as we went from International to Domestic and back to the International airport again. It turns out there are whole rooms full of lost bags, depending on whereabouts between plane and carpark you lose your luggage, and what sort of luggage it is. Since ours was the non-tagged, non-hold luggage variety with no names attached (I know, stupid), we weren’t entirely sure where it would be so we followed the channels they suggested.

By the time we got to the Domestic Airport where the lost and found warehouse was, and had a semi-forbidden look at the assortment of bags to have arrived since the 22nd of December, we realised it wasn’t there. A final option, apparently, was to go and check with the actual airline, since they might have found the bag on the baggage carousel. We weren’t sure why anyone would find an unattended bag and put it on the baggage carousel, since this was cabin baggage and was never on a carousel … but we’d come this far so why not.

That was back at the International Airport, so back we went. My brother decided to just drive around the outside of the drop-off zone rather than pay for parking, so I went in.

The airline guy was apologetic but no help. His huge room full of lost bags was only for hold luggage with check-in tags attached. Nevertheless, he let me have a look through them and I confirmed that there was indeed no sign of our bag there. I do have to wonder just how easy it would be for people to take bags from this particular section of the airport, since security did not seem to be great.

As a final final effort, the guy suggested I try further down the corridor, where some obscure department had their huge room full of lost bags. So I went down there.

Long story short (too late, I know), our bag was there. I pointed it out to the lady on duty and she was sceptical because there was no name on the bag and no information in their system, no sign of where the bag had come from or anything (so no, we never did find out exactly where we’d left it). I told her there was a couple of boxes of novelty Marvel bobble-heads in there, if she just opened it up and had a look.

She called over her colleague and asked her to confirm for the record that she was opening the bag.

Then she did so, and still looked sceptical about the bobble-heads.

I added that underneath the bobble-heads, she would find about 35 unused spare colostomy bags. I lifted my shirt and showed her the one I had on. “They look like this,” I told her.

Scepticism, after putting up one Hell of an admirable fight, finally succumbed to its injuries and slipped away peacefully without regaining consciousness.

“Yeah, alright it’s your bag,” she said, and handed it over.



My brother and I returned home as conquering heroes, and the bobble-heads were duly dispensed. We also found that aside from my hoodie and Mrs. Hatboy’s scarf, the bag had also contained a pair of her shoes that she might eventually have realised were missing (“hey, I only have seven hundred and ninety-six thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine pairs of shoes, what gives?”), and a few other bits and pieces.

Also, I could happily report to Mr. BRKN that his bag was retrieved in good order. So that was nice.

I’d like to add a special thank you to the lost and found department at Perth Airport, particularly Kim the Landside Lost Property Administrator. You did an amazing job and showed great care and consideration for your customers, and you did it with grace and somehow managed to make it feel like we were the first people to ever lose a bag while travelling. Even though those rooms full of bags made it pretty clear we weren’t. Thank you again.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy. https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
This entry was posted in The Chucky Report and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What I Did On My Holidays, 2017-2018, Day 11 (Part 1)

  1. aaronthepatriot says:

    Yay! LOL at the low security appearance except for when you were trying to legitimately claim your actual bag. Well, brkn’s bag, but you know. Surely that wasn’t the issue.


    Congratulations! Extra presents for everyone? Or, save for birthdays?

    • stchucky says:

      Yeah, the guy at the airline office gave no fucks at all. I feel like saying that the ladies at the final store room were diligent because they knew they’d get to keep any bags that weren’t claimed after a month, so were unwilling to give them away … but that’s just me being cynical.

      What we ended up doing was handing out bobbleheads to my sister, my nieces, Wump and Toop, and my nephews Wally and Viggles (nickname in progress), with two left for myself and Mrs. Hatboy. So now the extended Marvel character universe is scattered across the globe, like the family with which it resides.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s