The state of the male / female divide in the closing weeks of 2017 AD

This morning, one of the administrators of the George Takei bot on Facebook[1] posted this interesting article about what happens when jackasses and the Internet collide.

[1] He used to actually post, I’m sure, and was really engaging and clever. Maybe he was always a team of interns with black belts in SEO, I don’t know – but for the past few years he has been steadily sliding into spammy mediocrity, and it’s getting increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that the people in his comments sections are just the worst human beings in the entire world. And yes, I absolutely include myself in that assessment since I still can’t resist wading in sometimes.

Anyway, the gist of the article is:

  1. A bunch of Melbourne university students existed
  2. One of them, female, attracted the attention of another, male
  3. Male discussed female in a private group chat with other male friends
  4. Chat went (sadly predictably) disgusting
  5. Aforementioned female was for some unfathomable reason added to the group chat
  6. Female was quickly removed from group chat, but could still see everything that had been said in the group chat up until that point
  7. Female screencapped the conversation and posted it online
  8. Conversation went viral
  9. Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued

So. There are probably as many determinations as to at which point this series of events went wrong as there are people to judge it. For example, I think a lot of people would agree that it went wrong somewhere around (4). Certainly I can see how it was upsetting for the unsuspecting girl in question to see the lustful and unpleasant thoughts of men actually written out in text form. Nobody wants that.

I also see a lot of people (both men and women) saying it was really only (7) that turned things ugly, since it was a private chat and people, regardless of their gender, will be dirty (and surely offensive to someone, most particularly the person they’re talking about behind their hands) when talking about attractive members of the opposite and / or same sex, or indeed when talking about anybody. I think there was a scene in the Narnia chronicles where Lucy gets to hear what people are saying about her behind her back, and nobody comes out of it looking good.

But okay, there’s a debate in it, certainly. For my part, I think the guys should absolutely be ashamed of[2] their knuckle-dragging behaviour. It’s really not okay, and even though in this case the biggest deal was that it actually came to light, the case can be made that those sorts of conversations really only serve to reassure the involved parties that it’s fine to talk and think that way. And … it’s not, is it? Sure, it’s not affecting our actions or public behaviour or thoughts / attitudes … only, is that true?

[2] And shamed for, within reason and with due acknowledgement that this whole thing was pretty much entirely their stupid fault. I’d hesitate to call out the social media firing squad though.

Myself, I generally assume anything I write down in a chat or on social media or anywhere else will eventually be seen[3], for better or (quite regularly) for worse. It doesn’t necessarily improve my verbal behaviour, but I guess it’s an ongoing process.

[3] Hah, if only. Of course, in practice basically nothing I write down ever sees the light of day. Such is life.

There also doesn’t seem to be much in the actually screencapped part of the conversation that I would say is bad, depending on how one wishes to take “I’d throw her on that bed”. I mean, were I single[4] and were the girl amenable, I dare say I’d throw her on that bed. I couldn’t really say, it’s outside my jurisdiction.

[4] And, alright, seventeen years younger. Jesus when did I get so old.

The stuff about taking her to Thailand as a “bike”, I don’t know (but assume it’s some sort of gang-bang jargon), it’s not actually screencapped and is just added into the article text as a further accusation, which naturally makes me suspicious as to whether it was said at all. But by all means, let’s assume it was.

Not okay, guys. Have some respect for your fellow humans and their feelings – if not out of actual evolved sensibility, then out of enlightened self-interest.


Personally, I think the whole thing went bad at (1). I mean, Melbourne. Ugh.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
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12 Responses to The state of the male / female divide in the closing weeks of 2017 AD

  1. aaronthepatriot says:

    Personally I never understood the value of telling some male friend how much I want some female I haven’t yet conquested, even to the point of saying how hot she is. I mean, what if he agrees and makes a move? What if he tells her? Why do I want anyone else interested in this woman I really want for myself?

    My ideal world is where I’m shallow Hal, but maybe not with someone extremely overweight because I’d want her to live a long time, and not to crush me literally in bed, and to have the stamina to…well you get the picture.

    I’d love it if NO ONE else was attracted to my wife. I thought everyone, deep down, secretly wanted something like that. No? XD

    Competition is…annoying.

    • stchucky says:

      Heh, that’s a very good point. I don’t really get the appeal of those sorts of conversations either. I just naturally assumed it was because the only locker-room conversations I ever had were in locker rooms at an all-boys high school, and it put me off for life – or at least the portion of life I spent single. But who knows.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Unless they’re pretty similar to other locker room conversations, I can’t even imagine how depraved all-boys high school locker room conversations could–oh wait. *Listens to Trump and Billy Bush “grab ’em by the pussy” tape again* I suppose I can.

      • stchucky says:

        …and multiply by most-of-them-have-never-even-seen-a-pussy. And you’re there.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        It is as the Lord Denethor predicted![1][3]

        [1] For some value of Lord Denethor[2]

        [2] That value would be me.

        [3] Sorry, rewatching LOTR with the kids. So many quotes in my head ATM

      • stchucky says:

        I know right?? I couldn’t watch those movies again without every meme from the past nearly-twenty years coming back to me.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        “I know right?? I couldn’t watch those movies again without every meme from the past nearly-twenty years coming back to me.”

        My proud papa moment of that night was, at the “secret” council when Boromir begins to object to the quest, Dalia (10) almost screamed “OH! That’s the ‘one does not simply’ guy!!!!!”

        XD XD XD XD XD

      • stchucky says:

        BAAAHAHAHA fuckin’ gold.

      • stchucky says:

        Did you hear though? Trump is now worming his way towards “that tape was fake all along”!

        *stands back outside of explosion-range*

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Ahh yes the tape he referred to last year, saying the words were his, and real, and apologized for it? That one?

      • stchucky says:

        Yeah that’s the one! Only now, people (mostly progressives and liberals) are getting in deep, deep shit for doing rapey and disgusting things and talking about it. So of course it’s fake now. Here’s a word from our sponsors, the Ministry of Truth.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Well, let me be clear, I’m totally against doing rapey and disgusting things and talking about it.

        No I will not unpack that one!

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