Excerpt from a dream I had early this morning. There was a lot of other stuff going on in this dream but this is what’s stayed with me.
I was at a friend’s place, and went to the bathroom to pee. I started the job, only to find that my feet were getting wet. I was barefoot.
I looked down to find that urine was running out of the toilet bowl through a horizontal slit in the foot of the toilet, right where it met the floor. The toilet itself was empty, and just let the pee drain out onto the floor tiles. And the pisser’s feet.
I was scandalised by this, but apparently the toilet was a replica of a special model they had recently uncovered that had been used somewhere in the world in the 15th Century. So it was totally trendy for my friend to have one. I mean, given that the domestic toilet as we know it really only came about in the 18th Century (although there were examples of water-using toilets from thousands of years before that, and this 15th Century model didn’t actually seem to use water, except possibly to further flood one’s bathroom floor), I suppose the … shape of the seat … was pretty revolutionary?
I learned more about it in an article online – an article with the haunting headline that I have used for this blog post. Or at least I was learning about it, when my alarm clock went off and I woke up.
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About Hatboy
I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends.
Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages?
I am Hatboy.
https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
This is apparently not the first, or even the weirdest, toilet dream I have recorded on this blog.
I blame your propensity for taking the piss. Clearly it’s invading your dreams.