Kindness and charity

Random Thoughts Thursday, checking in:

Over the past couple of days, I’ve had a chance to be actively kind – above and beyond the lazy don’t-be-too-much-of-a-jerk that is my background state.

I won’t go into details because it’s private, but long story short I was able to offer a little time and attention, at very minor personal cost. Essentially, a couple of hours out of my latest Write Night, and a bit of a meh-feeling that followed through the rest of the night. My Write Nights are fragile in a lot of ways, especially when I have hard editing to do.

Still, that’s not really the point. It is vanishingly trivial, and I acknowledge that it is only painful or a sacrifice for me, and the benefits outweighed the drawbacks. I was left with mixed feelings about the whole thing, and by “mixed”, I mean “two distinct feelings, each of which have a selfish and a charitable side”.

1: I felt unhappy.

1.1: I felt sorry for myself because I’d done something that interfered with writing. This, as I say, is something I freely acknowledge as selfish and trivial to everyone but me. Don’t really care, but won’t go into more detail. No time.

1.2: I felt sorry for the person who needed my help. Not only for the issue they were facing, but because – what, really? Me? I’m your last resort?

2: I felt good.

2.1: I felt good about myself because I did a noble self-sacrifice and I totally get karma points for it. That’s how selfish charity works.

2.2: I felt good that I was able to help out a fellow person, even if only in a small and lazy way.

So that was my roller coaster of complex emotion. I went to country and western.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy. https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
This entry was posted in Hatboy's Nuggets of Crispy-Fried Wisdom, Office Posts, Random and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Kindness and charity

  1. aaronthepatriot says:

    “1.2: I felt sorry for the person who needed my help. Not only for the issue they were facing, but because – what, really? Me? I’m your last resort?

    2.2: I felt good that I was able to help out a fellow person, even if only in a small and lazy way.”

    Thanks again for webcamming nude for me while I wanked off. You minimize how much it helped.

  2. aaronthepatriot says:

    Your comeback about can’t spell “internal” without “intern” was key for me….

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