Solo solo

Day 119. 124 pages, 57,188 words.

On Friday, which is when I pre-wrote this blog post, I watched a few entertaining videos by Red Letter Media – or at least listened to them in the background while I was working. This one they posted two months before the premiere of Episode VII: The Force Awakens is pretty eerie:

Pure nerdy goodness.

Some of this was hilarious. And I thought the guy’s laugh would start to get grating after a while, but it’s weird – it started out grating, but then just became infectious.

They even got the Rotten Tomatoes score right, at least for a certain stretch of time – I’m not sure if it shifts as more votes come in, I guess it does. It seems to still be the same now, so I guess it locks. Whatever. They nailed it.

Now, with a lot of cynicism and despondency built up in the Star Wars crybaby fanboy community over Episode VII and Rogue One, we have a new set of predictions about the up-coming Han Solo movie.

Now, I don’t actually care that much about the Han Solo movie because – take a deep breath here – I don’t actually see what the big goddamn deal with Han Solo is. He’s a fun character, a classic antihero turned straight-up hero … meh. He’s fine I guess. I don’t understand the adulation.

But anyway, let’s see if they’re right about this:

Because if they are, it’s going to be a hilarious train wreck.

A lot of the stuff they mention here is all too plausible, particularly the stuff they’ve described as “so stupid, they’re definitely going to do it.” As with the Episode VII predictions, I think the stuff they get wrong in this video will actually sum up all the parts of the new movie that could have been done better. They had a few predictions for Episode VII that I think would have made for a much better movie.

They evidently haven’t tried as hard this time around to come up with those sorts of predictions, just going for the lowest common denominator and the dumbest possible fanboy service and internal references possible. But I think they’re probably justified in doing so.

If the new movie turns out like they’ve described here, I’ll be happy enough. If it’s better, I’ll be delighted. And very surprised. Me, I’m still holding out for an Ace Ventura version.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
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