The Impossible Universe

Day 79. 39 pages, 16,044 words.

Another busy day, but I was entertained not only by the running commentary of the collapse of Finland’s Parliament (more about that when there’s more to say than I just did, really), but by a link I stumbled onto during my Facebook scrolling.

This link about how crazy and impossible the universe is.

Now, sensationalist headline and fuzzy science aside, and ignoring the danger that Douglas Adams warned us that this general type of discovery can lead to the substitution of something even weirder (indeed, this article supports his theory that this has already happened), I didn’t really understand everything in this story. But a few things stood out.

The conclusion they drew is that, if all the theories proved to be true, we are a massive impossibility according to the present models of particle physics and the beginnings of our universe.

Now, the critical part of that would seem to be the “all” (and the “if”, of course). Obviously, that’s very vague and it’s extremely unscientific to even think that all theories on this topic can be right. The exclusion of just one contradictory theory might make all this make sense again, but that doesn’t make for a fun article.

But still, it’s amusing to think that we live in a freak reality and this is the one we think makes sense.

As per the Higgs model, our universe is in an evenly distributed energy valley called the Higgs field, which is responsible for allowing particles to have mass … There is another valley besides our Higgs field, however, that is deeper and darker and threatens the very existence of our universe. According to the standard cosmological model, our universe doesn’t fall into this valley because of a large energy barrier.

This “other valley” is dubious stuff and isn’t really fleshed out, but it made me chuckle because once again I am at the forefront of metaphysics.

In my urversal cosmology, Earth and the current observable universe are not what they seem. The true nature of the urverse is hidden from us, and our little bubble of unsustainable falsehood is quite literally shielded by a veil.

Researchers in the BICEP2 collaboration reported possible noise in their data, as the fluctuations they saw could have also been the result of cosmic dust clouding the images. The collaboration admitted that their results might be misleading.

So it could be dust on the lens or something. But the interpretation I take from this is that yes, as it is at the moment there is something preventing our “universe” from collapsing. But back at the “beginning”, it wasn’t there so there’s no way our universe could be a thing. Which is hilariously close to the truth.

I think these scientists could learn a lot from me.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
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