The following educational series of illustrations was brought on by, but is not intended in criticism of, my esteemed lanttumies. It’s just a long-boiling reaction to the bullshit that gets dropped in my inbox on an almost daily basis.
 No, it’s lanttumies.
Let’s start out nice and simple.
This is called a Venn diagram. It’s not particularly mathematically sound and it’s not based on any but the broadest and vaguest statistical knowledge, but it’s common sense.
Obviously, the “Immigrants” circle should be considerably smaller or the “Finns” circle should be much bigger. The “Criminals” circle is probably also too big altogether. Call it a sign of our fearful times.
But the important thing to take away from this drawing is the proportions. Immigrants are a very small group, and we’re generally more law-abiding than locals. Despite the fearmongering that goes on on one side, and the equal-and-opposite head-in-sand “it’s all lies!” that goes on on the other. Yes, there are murderous rapey fucks who immigrate. Let’s lock them up, send them home, or just shoot them in the fucking head. I honestly do not care.
 Yes, this is what pisses me off the most when people share this shit with me. Do you not realise I am a goddamn immigrant? And before you even fucking think about saying “yeah, but you’re an alright immigrant” – think very fucking carefully about how you’re going to justify that assumption, because I will make you justify it. Also, your grammatical structure. Dude.
So. Here we have a break-down of how crime happens. Okay, let’s add a layer.
“Refugees” are a subset of “Immigrants”. And they, like every other human demographic, are primarily law-abiding – indeed, probably even more so because they are even more dependent on the goodwill of their hosts than us regular immigrants are (although we still are, too).
But yes, there are still bad ones. They’re under a lot of stress but I’ve already made all the excuses for them I’m going to. So let’s say one third to one half of crimes committed by immigrants are committed by refugees. This, again, is utterly unsupported by statistical facts, I’m just throwing circles around in MS Paint.
Here’s a simple key to what you’re seeing here:
- If you are only worried about (1), and it is all you talk about, then you are a dumb racist.
- If you are only worried about (2), and it is all you talk about, then you are an evil racist. Also probably dumb.
Incidentally, I have been seeing a lot of commentary about what’s happening in the US right now, specifically their President trying to get the government to support the publication of a log of crimes committed by (1) and (2) above. Now obviously that should happen only as a subset of the entire criminal acts log, and if immigrants are being singled out for special attention it’s completely unjust. And if you need me to draw you a picture explaining why, I suggest you scroll back to the top of this post and start again.
I want to add a second part here, specifically for my lanttumies in case he feels attacked by this message. It is completely not the case. I know, for example, that he is concerned with all the criminals who are doing bad shit in Finland. And I agree with him that there are ways we can prevent more criminals from entering Finland, so by all means let’s do that. I’m not in favour of opening our doors and just letting everyone in.
 Yes, he falls into the Heffalump trap of only seeming to care about (1) and (2) crimes. But the important thing is that when that happens, we can have a conversation about it.
As an immigrant, I keep my nose clean and respect the laws and customs of Finland, and I expect all my fellow immigrants to do the same or fuck off back to where they came from. If you’re not here to steal Finnish jobs and women, get with the program or get the fuck out.
 Or men, although why anyone would want a Finnish man is completely beyond me.
This brings me to my next drawing, about language. It’s a little more complicated so bear with me.
This drawing shows at least part of the complicated spectrum I have concerning who I speak to in Finnish, and who I speak to in English. Let’s take a look.
In this spectrum, blue is English and red is Finnish. Here’s how it roughly breaks down:
- (1a) I speak English with you because it’s your native language and I respect you.
- (1b) I speak Engish with you even though you’re Finnish, because your English is excellent and I admire the Hell out of that. Plus, you keep saying you want to practice your English with me, and this is how we’ve gotten used to communicating. So now it’s a whole thing and it feels rude to switch to Finnish.
- (2) I speak English with you, but would prefer to speak Finnish – not because I don’t respect you or don’t think much of your English, but because it would just be easier and hey, I want to practice my Finnish too, you ever think of that?
- (3) I speak Finnish with you, because this is Finland and I respect the fact that I am a foreigner here. I’ve gone to the effort to learn the language so I’m going to use it where I can. I like using Finnish. Please don’t be offended if you hear me speaking English to someone else, so you switch to English but then I stubbornly go on speaking Finnish to you.
- (4) I speak Finnish with you because I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t understand me if I spoke English, which is … frankly, in Finland you have to be a bit ill-educated if you can’t understand English. Respect is still there, because this is still your country and you still don’t have to learn a foreign language … but fair to say it’s a little strained at this point.
- (5a) I speak English with you because it’s the only goddamn language you know, and I need to make sure you understand that I think you’re a piece of shit.
- (5b) I speak English with you even though you’re Finnish, because I know you speak English and you have forfeited the privilege of having me go to the effort of speaking your language. This does not, I must stress, apply to any of my friends or family members. It’s mostly telemarketers and people trying to rip me off at PostNord, actually.
So there you go, fuckleheads. Pictures.