Day 57. 161 pages, 58,131 words.
There are plenty of oracles, wise ones, prophets and holy madmen in the world. One way or another, for one problem or another, I’ve consulted them all. I owe quite a few of them money.
I owe some of them considerably more than that.
There’s one I haven’t really talked about before, because she’s … well, she’s not what you’d expect from a mystic seer. Oh, she’s mysterious alright, and she talks in riddles that often mean absolutely nothing and very rarely reduce the number of questions the hopeful traveller has brought before her. She’s difficult to find, but always seems to show up when you’re searching for her with sincerity of intent, which is certainly another thing she has in common with most of the other ancient and abiding minds that dwell in the quiet places behind places.
She’s the Myconet, and that’s enough.
The Myconet is … how to put it?
She lacks the loud voice and the soapbox of the Saint. She lacks the hocus pocus, flimflam, glitz, glamour and unfortunate habit of throwing in an undercoat you didn’t need for a vehicle you don’t own for 10% under the list price of the hallowed and revered Oracle at Delphi Used Cars Dealership Co. She lacks the … everything of the Three-Quarters Man.
But it’s entirely possible that she’s older than them all. And it’s just as possible that she’ll still be around when they all return to the dust and the hardpan from whence they came. Okay, maybe not in the case of the Three-Quarters Man – I believe he’s had the simple capacity to be outlived seared from him as part of his definitive, nay titular reduction – but she’s been around. And she’ll be around.
About the first thing you notice about the Myconet is, she’s a mushroom.
Hatboy's Hatstand 
Inb4 the Three-Quarters Man is Çrom Skelliglyph. No, he’s not. Sorry.
OH COME ON! At least let me enjoy some of the inevitable connections by folks who haven’t read the near-2,000 pages I have! (twice).
Other than that, damn you, this looks interesting! You know how to draw me in, at least! And not just because I love mushrooms.
Well, clearly not, because he’s only 3/4!
But it’s pretty much gonna be “Spot Çrom” from here on out.
Well played, sir. Very well played.
My pleasure!
Hee hee, well like Aaron / Morpheus so eloquently says, he’s easy to spot because his name is “Çrom Skelliglyph”.
Well, he might not always be explicitly named.
dreameling, since I’ve not the patience for your high degree of skepticism, I will instead tell you the most horrifying quote I heard today, from an actual (US) FBI insider:
“The FBI is Trumpland.”
Dude, you need to move the fuck out.
“Dude, you need to move the fuck out.”
How big is your place? Hatboy might be a little cramped with me in his garage year-round.[1] Timeshare?
[1] Not to mention the impact on that bar…. GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
!! SPOILERS FOR BOOK 8 !!
!! YEAH, SPOILERS !!
!! FINAL WARNING, ASSBUTT !!
I spent one of the latter TFFOM books spotting Çrom in the flashback chapters, because I was convinced he was an ancient player. My spottings were all false, I guess, but man was I kinda right about the guy.
I’ll allow this comment because it doesn’t say much, but if you could limit comments to actually published books, that’d be awesome.
Goes for you too, Mr. Aaron Bilgey.
Yeah, sorry about that. Was wondering whether I should post it. But you know how I love to see myself type.
“Goes for you too, Mr. Aaron Bilgey.”
Holy false equivalency, Batman!
You know what you bin commentin’, don’t you give me no innocent look.
This is unfair! I can’t even defend myself without doing what you said not to do!
OK, ok I just realized I can make my point about your writing without any spoilers or mention of “secret” books:
Hatboy despised the Taimandred Theory. There. All you need to know about whether Crom was also this person or that person XD
Excellent point. My opinion of the Law of Conservation of Characters is well-known.
Elan, Contro, and the little Gortifer Renn twist was more than enough conservation for me.
What’s the “Law of Conservation of Characters”?
“Characters can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed in form.”
Wait, no, that’s like exactly NOT what our unscientific friend means XD
I guess he means this:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheLawOfConservationOfDetail
That is everything I hate in the area of human creative endeavour, neatly encapsulated in a wiki page.
You hate the trope or you hate TV Tropes for making everything a trope?
The trope. TVtropes is okay.
X character is Y character in disguise, because readers’ tiny brains can’t handle the concept of two characters.
You really didn’t like that WOT theory, did you?
No I didn’t. And fortunately I, and others like me, were able to convince Jordan he didn’t like it either.
“No I didn’t. And fortunately I, and others like me, were able to convince Jordan he didn’t like it either.”
Hey, I actually agree with this, believe it or not. Well, except for the part where you convinced him.
I agree TaimTaim is better and more interesting, in the end. I just am glad I was right all along that he was trying for Taimandred.
*double thumbs nose*
*realizes this looks stupid, stops*
*cough*
You say he got pissed that readers guessed his play so changed it to the play I picked. I say potahto.
uhm…well see the thing you need to know about that is…ahh…Occam’s…Razor?
Of course, Hatboy, as you know there is an exception to the Law of Conservation of Characters. And that exception is “the author is a fucking lying liar who started to hide a special character inside another major character but got really pissed when his readers guessed it too early so he changed his mind and lied about it for decades.”
dreameling, I know that sounds awfully specific. Yes. Yes it is. Robert Jordan, rest in peace but I see you, motherfucker. I see you.
You guys really need to, like, chill.
Say “bitch, be cool!”
Be cool, honey bunny.
I’m just glad Jordan did the right thing, creatively and in terms of the logic of the story.
*thumbs nose*
Aaron, don’t take that sort of gruff from Hatbox*, he’s only got half a nose, thumbing it at you is less than a whole man**.
*Phone auto corrected Hatboy to Hatbox, and I found it hilariously in keeping with the time of my comment.
**Introducing the theory that EDPOOL IS THE THREE QUARTER MAN.
Dammit, this comment got linked to the wrong place in the chain.
My steady reduction of nose, teeth, tailbone, intestines and rectum certainly seem to point at life imitating art.
I firmly believe that Çrom is Hatboy’s Nightblood Coppermind.
Well, if anything, at the moment I would say that honour either goes to Big Thundering Bjørn and Fat Tuesday, or possibly Greyblade of the Burning Knights. Or … well actually, there’s a heap.
I’m VERY happy about it too, don’t spoil it for me.