Day 9. 0 pages, 0 words.
I just finished reading this to Wump last night, and I have to say I’d forgotten quite a lot of what happened in there. It was … pretty heavy stuff. Here’s a couple of things that I’m now wondering about, because damn.
- Okay, Luna Lovegood’s half-page of back-story in this book is pretty fucking heartbreaking. So a lot of the things her dad is into are just chemtrail-nuts, but he is also right about a heap of it. On top of this, her mother died – possibly right in front of Luna – as a result of some sort of crazy experiment she was conducting on herself. And the Hogwarts students hide Luna’s stuff, and she just calmly waits for it to find its way back to her. And just a gentle reminder – she got put into Ravenclaw. She’s not a Hufflepuff.
- So, Lucius Malfoy is pretty much cartoon-supervillain eeevil, and always has been. Fair enough, you can’t imprison someone just because they look like a mirror-universe Tolkien Elf, but … by the time Voldemort finally officially makes his return, and Lucius Malfoy is to nobody’s surprise outed as a Death Eater and thrown ineffectually into Dementor-free Azkaban … Draco isn’t taken away and put in foster care and relieved of his wand. Same goes for Crabbe and Goyle. That shit’s pretty wack, yo. As the kids today apparently say.
- Umbridge was gang-raped or tortured in some horrible externally-hard-to-spot way by the centaurs, wasn’t she? She’s catatonic and reacts in panic when Ron makes hoof noises. That’s hilarious if she’s just in an ermagerd I went too close to the chaffchuckers racist coma, but if something really horrible happened to her, it’s … not as funny.
- Harry had that enchanted mirror and could have talked to Sirius with it at any time. Sirius may not have had it with him by the time he went to the Ministry for his date with the veil, but everything leading up to that – including Harry’s attempts to use Umbridge’s fire to talk to Sirius – could have been avoided, and probably the Ministry showdown as well. And this isn’t mentioned again. And Sirius didn’t even mention it when Harry talked to him through the Floo network.
- Chaffchuckers is now my favourite racist term for centaurs.