Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Day 9. 0 pages, 0 words.

I just finished reading this to Wump last night, and I have to say I’d forgotten quite a lot of what happened in there. It was … pretty heavy stuff. Here’s a couple of things that I’m now wondering about, because damn.

  • Okay, Luna Lovegood’s half-page of back-story in this book is pretty fucking heartbreaking. So a lot of the things her dad is into are just chemtrail-nuts, but he is also right about a heap of it. On top of this, her mother died – possibly right in front of Luna – as a result of some sort of crazy experiment she was conducting on herself. And the Hogwarts students hide Luna’s stuff, and she just calmly waits for it to find its way back to her. And just a gentle reminder – she got put into Ravenclaw. She’s not a Hufflepuff.

 

  • So, Lucius Malfoy is pretty much cartoon-supervillain eeevil, and always has been. Fair enough, you can’t imprison someone just because they look like a mirror-universe Tolkien Elf, but … by the time Voldemort finally officially makes his return, and Lucius Malfoy is to nobody’s surprise outed as a Death Eater and thrown ineffectually into Dementor-free Azkaban … Draco isn’t taken away and put in foster care and relieved of his wand. Same goes for Crabbe and Goyle. That shit’s pretty wack, yo. As the kids today apparently say.

 

  • Umbridge was gang-raped or tortured in some horrible externally-hard-to-spot way by the centaurs, wasn’t she? She’s catatonic and reacts in panic when Ron makes hoof noises. That’s hilarious if she’s just in an ermagerd I went too close to the chaffchuckers racist coma, but if something really horrible happened to her, it’s … not as funny.

 

  • Harry had that enchanted mirror and could have talked to Sirius with it at any time. Sirius may not have had it with him by the time he went to the Ministry for his date with the veil, but everything leading up to that – including Harry’s attempts to use Umbridge’s fire to talk to Sirius – could have been avoided, and probably the Ministry showdown as well. And this isn’t mentioned again. And Sirius didn’t even mention it when Harry talked to him through the Floo network.

 

  • Chaffchuckers is now my favourite racist term for centaurs.
This entry was posted in Kussa mun hopoti? and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

  1. stchucky says:

    Now I want to see a spin-off novel where Draco Malfoy gets put into foster care and has to live with, oh I don’t know, let’s say the Weasleys.

  2. aaronthepatriot says:

    Good stuff! I was also quite sorry for Luna’s entire storyline…she needed a happy ending, I mean like Harry totally dumping Ginny and going with her. At the least. The actress in the movie nailed that role, which apparently she fell in love with instantly so it was little wonder. And yes, she’s NOT HUFFLEPUFF! *sigh*

    Yup, Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle are pretty much without an arc of redemption. I seem to recall a bit of an attempt for Draco, near the end, but maybe it was just Harry “taking the pity” as I call it sometimes at home. I can’t recall. But yeah, you basically have to be a hateful person to be a Death Eater. I mean, think of it as muggles are like blacks in America. Now, what if a racist killed any white people who didn’t share his racism? That’s a Death Eater. Really fucked up shit.

    I always read it as the centaurs terrified and yes, perhaps, tortured Umbridge a bit. But you know, if anyone deserved it…. The Weasleys are a bit dickish, though. In particular, Ron. Remember how he got pissed that one book when Harry was…shit I forgot what Harry was doing but he actually WASN’T doing it, and Ron could have been a much better friend. Ron’s a dick. But no, I don’t think rape is the implication but it’s been a while, again.

    Yes, the mirror bothered me to NO END once its nature was revealed. A deus ex machina that was poorly thought out because it wasn’t used to deus enough. Only in really small ways because the author just didn’t think it all out.

    Which is why I try to make sure YOU think it all out, damnit.

    Good thoughts!

    • stchucky says:

      Yup, Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle are pretty much without an arc of redemption. I seem to recall a bit of an attempt for Draco, near the end, but maybe it was just Harry “taking the pity” as I call it sometimes at home. I can’t recall. But yeah, you basically have to be a hateful person to be a Death Eater. I mean, think of it as muggles are like blacks in America. Now, what if a racist killed any white people who didn’t share his racism? That’s a Death Eater. Really fucked up shit.

      And Voldemort’s father was black. LOL.

      I also seem to recall (just launching into the sixth book and it’s been a solid decade) that Draco was meant to kill Dumbledore, and couldn’t do it, so Snape did it to save Draco’s life. Now, in The Order of the Phoenix, there was a whole thing where Harry tried to do the crucio curse on Bellatrix, but it didn’t work out very well because even though he was angry, he didn’t have the will to make it happen. The implication, I guess, being that there was good in Draco and that he couldn’t do the killing curse on Dumbledore, so his soul was still redeemable.

      Even though it, you know, wasn’t.

      Which means that Snape took not just one for the team, but fucking infinite.

      I always read it as the centaurs terrified and yes, perhaps, tortured Umbridge a bit. But you know, if anyone deserved it….

      Yeah, she was … something else. Mind you, the whole Ministry fuckaree in Hogwarts was pretty overblown.

      The Weasleys are a bit dickish, though. In particular, Ron. Remember how he got pissed that one book when Harry was…shit I forgot what Harry was doing but he actually WASN’T doing it, and Ron could have been a much better friend.

      Ooh, when Harry got his name pulled out of the Goblet of Fire and swore up and down that he didn’t do it, but Ron was convinced he was being a famewhore.

      Yes, the mirror bothered me to NO END once its nature was revealed. A deus ex machina that was poorly thought out because it wasn’t used to deus enough. Only in really small ways because the author just didn’t think it all out.

      Or, she thought it out perfectly and it could have been a deus ex machina, but it was completely disregarded by dumbarse Harry and Sirius, which would be tragic if it was just Harry but yes, I agree, a bit poorly laid out that a) Sirius didn’t mention it and b) its true potential and the tragedy thereof was not even mentioned again.

      So, well thought-out, but poorly executed.

      Like Dumbledore.

      Which is why I try to make sure YOU think it all out, damnit.

      OMG SO FUCKING IRRELEVANT RIGHT NOW

      [/in-joke]

      • stchucky says:

        Dang it, missed my chance to say “the titular Goblet of Fire.”

        Too late?

        Too late.

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        “Which means that Snape took not just one for the team, but fucking infinite.”

        Talk about another tragic character, holy fuck. Well, at least I was right all along. That’s more important than Snape avoiding a horrible death.

        “Yeah, she was … something else. Mind you, the whole Ministry fuckaree in Hogwarts was pretty overblown.”

        Yes indeed, as in spanning the entire 7-year series, not counting the epilogue of course.

        “Ooh, when Harry got his name pulled out of the Goblet of Fire and swore up and down that he didn’t do it, but Ron was convinced he was being a famewhore.”

        Right. So, Ron showed his true colors there, and all I got was this stupid “Parvati told me to tell you that Ron told her that Hagrid wants to see you”.

        Which, I mean, LOL. Butt still [/in-joke]

        “So, well thought-out, but poorly executed.

        Like Dumbledore.”

        ZOMG the burn. Talk about irrelevant: Dumbledore? Amirite?

      • stchucky says:

        Talk about another tragic character, holy fuck. Well, at least I was right all along. That’s more important than Snape avoiding a horrible death.

        Hah! Well, the thing about it is, I was aware of the movies before I read any of the books (although I hadn’t seen the movies by the time I started reading the books) … Harry Potter was a big deal well before I had any interest in the series. I read them after they were cool, and so on.

        Anyway, point is, I already knew Snape was played by Alan Rickman. So I automatically liked him and thought Harry was a constant tool.

        So it was nice to get that “twist” at the end.

        Right. So, Ron showed his true colors there, and all I got was this stupid “Parvati told me to tell you that Ron told her that Hagrid wants to see you”.

        Hee, good point well made.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s