Friday … Fapping?

It’s time for your daily dose of too much information. Lucky, lucky you.

Meh. Three months ago today, as probably not even regulars on the blog will remember, I went in for the big snip. Actually, it was on the 25th three months ago but I’ve been busy.

Still a big snip though.

Anyway, today was my sample-givey-test day thing, so I took the morning off work and went into Helsinki to jerk it in new and interesting places.

I’m including a couple of pictures in the interests of TMI. No, not of that. Sheesh, just of the room. Couldn’t get a photo of that, could I? Both my hands were full! *goes up for high five*

*washes hands*



It was a comfier room than my pre-radiotherapy sample-freezing experience about five years ago … but the rest was much the same. And with a €65 lab bill, it turned out to be the most expensive wank I think I have ever had. And that includes the You Hose It, You Bought It incident of ’93.

But that’s another story.

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13 Responses to Friday … Fapping?

  1. stchucky says:

    The porno collection was also way less nasty than at the fertility clinic. Still didn’t use it, though. Just got pictures because it’s funny.

  2. I’m so sorry to bring up this aspect but I’m super curious because the room seems to be designed for heterosexual males: did they ask you if you prefer guys or girls, or did it seem like it’d be your usual “if you’re gay, you’re gonna have to have That Awkward Conversation if you want help getting it, ahem, done”?

    • I mean, obviously the percentage of guys looking to get sterilised are doing it in order to be able to be with girls without worrying about accidental spawn, so it’s a fair bet that this isn’t going to be a real issue for anybody. I’m not saying it’s some serious equality issue or anything, but the lengths they’ve gone to provide you a wide selection made me imagine how hilarious it would be to go to the desk and say, “It looks really nice but actually…” 😀

      • “the percentage” > “a high percentage”

        Ugh, changing your mind on sentence structure halfway through and forgetting to edit backwards before hitting Send is never a good move.

      • stchucky says:

        Hee, I’m pretty sure if I’d asked for hot farmboy-on-farmboy action, they would have asked me politely if I’d understood the function of the moving picture box on the wall.

        Another interesting and amusing note – I leafed through a few of the Playboy magazines. In this Internet Age, they were like museum pieces. The room was so comfy, I actually started to doze off before going back to the magazines … and then I realised I was actually reading the things.

        I then had this hilarious moment of crisis (no, not that one…) where I imagined an irritated nurse knocking on the door and saying “are you reading in there?”

        “No! I’m whacking off to the pictures, I promise! Don’t come in here!”

    • stchucky says:

      That’s a really good question. Obviously it never occurred to me, because this was invisible pigeonholing from my perspective.

      However, the TV/computer interface would allow you to look up any stimulating audio-visual you wanted, and I’m 95% sure nobody was using those Playboys. If your imagination can’t get the job done, you probably have a phone.

      And yeah, this was a sperm analysis clinic. I don’t think it’s a huge risk to say the guys spanking the monkey in there are breeders of some stripe. If they’re breeders who most comfortably get off to gay porn, maybe their sperm count isn’t an issue. Not one warranting a separate room, anyway. Space did seem to be at a premium.

      It was interesting though, and this sort of consideration was sort of why I posted about it. Taboo schmaboo.

      • Yeah, barring the people with medical needs for sterilisation (not sure at all those are a real concern) or the legal requirement to get sterilised (still a reality for trans people) I think it’s safe to say that the majority of visitors would be cis male breeders. Plus of course all the hetero/bi/pansexuals who want to make sure they never become breeders in the first place.

        The TV/computer allowing you to browse to any content though, that is brilliant. Also, all the possibilities! A mischievous mind might feel tempted to leave the room looking like a BDSM person just passed through.

      • stchucky says:

        Since this is clearly Interesting But Mildly Horrifying True Facts Day, I had a slight buildup of gas in my colostomy bag. This interfered with the dolphin-greasing process slightly, but I resisted the urge to vent off a quarter-litre of poostank into the room. The question of just what the heck I’d needed to do in order to reach climax, however, that would have occurred to the poor nurses … it tickled me.

        Not like that.

        …or did it?

      • Baaaahhhahahahaha. 😀

        Could’ve lived without the mental image though. Could have indeed.

  3. aaronthepatriot says:

    Man, I need to get myself to a sperm bank. I’m always looking for reasons to seed a new building.

    Crap I hope I don’t actually send this comment by accident….

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