Taggle Rock

Day 4. 40 pages, 16,188 words.

I had a sad day yesterday but as a result I slept in today and then had to take the girls to daycare so it was a really late start, and I’ve gotten nothing done. This is why I get up at 04:00am.

So instead of my little grumbly rant about yesterday’s fuckery, I will render a quick note about how the day ended, and how this one began.

So yesterday, which was a shit of a day after a shit of a week for both Mrs. Hatboy and myself, ended with what was supposed to be a nice relaxing shower. I was halfway through washing my hair (of which I have a lot) and beard (of which I have a respectable amount) when the water from the shower slowed to a trickle, and then stopped altogether. We managed to get about 3cm of water in a bucket before it was all over. I was sitting there with shampoo all over my head like some sort of rabid hobo.

It’s just fortunate that I had opted to wash my hair and put in conditioner before taking off my colostomy bag for washing and changing. I generally do that while the conditioner sets in. I have a routine. The routine is not served by the water stopping.

Anyway, turned out to just be a hiccough in the ancient water pump that we share with the neighbours, so all was well. I didn’t hang around to wait for my uncle-in-law (our aforementioned neighbour) to set it right, though – I had shampoo dripping into my eyes and a wet bag of shit slowly peeling away from my stomach, so I hightailed it to mommo‘s house and finished my shower.

So, all was well that ended well. I did miss hearing Mr. BRKN on the radio, though, which was unfortunate.

This morning, I walked the girls over to daycare and was delighted to see our latest local decoration for the first time (it happened a few days ago but I hadn’t seen it before now).

tagged

“Some people are just fucking idiots.” – Wump, showing more intelligence and judgement at 5 than these dick-cheese motherfuckers managed at 15-19.

Now, obviously I’m pretty pissed about this. I have absolutely no problem with guys tagging concrete bridge abutments and random walls. I prefer a bit of artistry and colour to my graffiti and I think tags are just low form, but whatever. Art is art.

When you go and tag our local forest, then you lose all semblance of usefulness to my worldview. If this guy had fallen off the cliff face and broken his neck, I do believe I would have been pleased about it.

That being said, I’m not filled with murderous vengeful rage. I’m not that guy, obviously. It would be ideal, as far as I’m concerned, if the guys responsible for this[1] would come and clean it off, then apologise to the village council. No harm, no foul. Of course, that’s never going to happen.

[1] And I did actually see them on the evening it occurred, but there are always teenagers hanging around up there. Usually all they do is litter a bit, and even that has improved since my in-laws went up there with their best hillbilly clubs and encouraged them to clean the fuck up after themselves, but that was a good 5 or 6 years ago. The one guy (of the two I saw up there) I got a reasonable look at was maybe 6′ tall, skinny, with brown hair in a sort of a bowl cut. That’s about all I saw though, unfortunately.

See, I did my share of dumb, obnoxious things as a teenager. Nothing that couldn’t be hosed harmlessly away, I think, but sure. Some cringeworthy and shameful things. I wouldn’t want to be punished disproportionately for any of them. And fair to say that I grew up, at least in some senses. So I do look back and cringe. I do care about our corny ol’ patch of forest, which I probably would have found boring as a kid. I’ve changed. These guys will too. At least, I’d like to hope so. But I don’t know. Maybe if you’re the sort of teenager who would spray-paint a forest rock-face, the damage has already been done and you’re a lost cause.

Mrs. Hatboy has made me a better person, both in my own behaviour and in terms of judging other people for the stupid shit they do.

So yeah. Let them apologise, fix the damage they’ve done, and walk away.

If they do it again, let’s neuter them so my children don’t have to share oxygen with their sloping-headed troglodyte spawn.

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3 Responses to Taggle Rock

  1. aaronthepatriot says:

    Man, what a shitty end to a shitty time! I think I would lose it if the hot water gave out on me, much less if I were in *your* situation in that shower.

    As for those stupid teenagers, you’re both more gracious than I and more uptight than I, if you can imagine that. I have no patience for any of this stupid graffiti, anytime, anywhere. It’s not your fucking property, don’t spray shit (meaning paint, but also shit and piss while we’re talking about it) on it. I mean, I understand, if you’re homeless you gotta piss and shit somewhere–I digress. Anyway, fuck the hell off with your graffiti.

    I do suggest, however, that while this is stupid and ugly I wouldn’t really call it damage. I mean, it technically is, I’m sure those chemicals are not great, and I did just write the above, but…you had a bad week. Then again, this sounds like an ongoing issue so, bad week or not, eventually you get to that straw on that poor fucking camel’s back. But it is spray paint on a rock. I know much wealthier people who are far more worthless sacks of shit than this.

    What does it say, by the way? Anything at all clever in it? I can’t read it or even make out what part is image and what part is letters.

    And finally, any thoughts ever of going up there with the top (cap, filter, whatever you call it, I’m assuming there is one) off your bag, pretending to hang out with the teens, and then going crazy colostomy guy and spraying shit all over them? You’ve got a biological weapon in easy reach…but with great power comes great responsibility, I suppose….

    Hey, don’t blame me for that suggestion. I started thinking about spraying shit (graffiti), and sacks of shit, and obviously couldn’t *stop* thinking about spraying shit. LOL

    • stchucky says:

      Man, what a shitty end to a shitty time! I think I would lose it if the hot water gave out on me, much less if I were in *your* situation in that shower.

      Just to clarify, it wasn’t the hot water that gave out. I’ve endured cold showers before. It was the pump that sharted itself, meaning no water coming out of the taps at all.

      As for those stupid teenagers, you’re both more gracious than I and more uptight than I, if you can imagine that. I have no patience for any of this stupid graffiti, anytime, anywhere. It’s not your fucking property, don’t spray shit

      I disagree, if it’s attractive and artistically-skilled decoration on an otherwise ugly piece of construction, you go for it.

      (meaning paint, but also shit and piss while we’re talking about it) on it. I mean, I understand, if you’re homeless you gotta piss and shit somewhere–I digress. Anyway, fuck the hell off with your graffiti.

      Yeah, public urination and defecation is a whole other kettle of bodily waste and I won’t address it here.

      I do suggest, however, that while this is stupid and ugly I wouldn’t really call it damage. I mean, it technically is, I’m sure those chemicals are not great, and I did just write the above, but…you had a bad week.

      No, fuck my bad week, overruled. This is damage, as well as being a huge ugly eyesore on a beautiful natural rock face in the middle of protected forest. It’s disgusting on numerous levels.

      Then again, this sounds like an ongoing issue so, bad week or not, eventually you get to that straw on that poor fucking camel’s back. But it is spray paint on a rock.

      Teenage scumbags will be teenage scumbags, it’s not a matter of cumulative issues. It’s a matter of goddamn vandalism.

      I know much wealthier people who are far more worthless sacks of shit than this.

      Overruled. Irrelevant. As I said, my solution for these guys would be an apology and cleaning up their mess. Wealthier and more worthless sacks of shit can get stiffer penalties, but it’s not relevant to this case.

      What does it say, by the way? Anything at all clever in it? I can’t read it or even make out what part is image and what part is letters.

      Nothing clever or meaningful.

      They didn’t even do the ballsy thing and tag the rock face somewhere badass where they would have needed to abseil down. They did it right near the wussy little ledge you can just walk out onto.

      And finally, any thoughts ever of going up there with the top (cap, filter, whatever you call it, I’m assuming there is one) off your bag, pretending to hang out with the teens, and then going crazy colostomy guy and spraying shit all over them? You’ve got a biological weapon in easy reach…but with great power comes great responsibility, I suppose….

      Hey, don’t blame me for that suggestion. I started thinking about spraying shit (graffiti), and sacks of shit, and obviously couldn’t *stop* thinking about spraying shit. LOL

      It’s occurred to me to find out where they live and actually smear shit on something they care about. Does that count?

      • aaronthepatriot says:

        Well, skipping over most of this Judge Dredd stuff, to the last point, sure that sounds like fair revenge. And as you and I can agree on, I think, no less creative than these jackasses’ idea.

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