Hillary Clinton vs. Crackers

Day 67. 219 pages, 108,067 words.

I had a weird dream on the weekend (I think it was Saturday night?). It’s entirely possible that I am watching and reading too much stuff about the US Presidential campaign. But here we go.

According to the news (in my dream), Hillary Clinton was accusing her competitor Bernie Sanders of some sort of taxation-related corruption. The scandal involved crackers. Not white people, but actual crackers – Ritz, I believe, or some sort of cheese-flavoured dealies. She was accusing him of a shady deal of some kind with the Ritz people that allowed them to have a larger market share in return for swaying voters in key areas or something. Even in my dream I didn’t understand a damn thing that was going on, there was a lot of crap about delegates and demographic regions and what-all. Her whole claim was super-dubious though.

So anyway, I was at a supermarket and Bill Clinton was there, working as a shelf-stacker. I think this was actually a legit job on his part, I have no idea why but that was the starting condition for the dream – Bill Clinton working as a shelf stacker, which I think if there was any justice in the world is what he would be doing for a living. But I digress.

Hillary turned up at the supermarket and was doing something in the cracker aisle, something to do with the Ritz cheese crackers. Bill saw her, and grabbed her by the back of the collar and frog-marched her out of the shop in front of everybody. I was one of the few people close enough to hear what he was saying, and he was basically chewing her out for being a complete idiot for coming into the store, because it was putting her entire campaign and credibility in jeopardy. Apparently she wasn’t allowed to come within five hundred metres of a Ritz cracker while it was still on a supermarket shelf.

That would actually make it really hard for her to shop in basically any supermarket, now I come to think of it, but maybe there are shops that don’t sell Ritz, or Hillary has people to shop for her.

Anyway, he tossed her out of the shop and it was pretty damn surreal. Then I woke up.

The end.

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2 Responses to Hillary Clinton vs. Crackers

  1. aaronthepatriot says:

    LOL I love it! And it’s ironic because everyone knows OLD people (not Bernie voters) love crackers, so obviously Hillary has invented this fake scandal against Bernie because she’s been feeling the Bern too much lately!

  2. brknwntr says:

    Old people love Saltines though, or oyster crackers. Ritz crackers are a young persons game.

    Also, I’m doubting that Hillary Clinton has done her own shopping for decades now.

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