Welcome to the future

Day 6. 26 pages, 10,335 words.

Yesterday, while browsing YouTube during my lunch break, I came across this little gem from the Colbert Report. Apparently there’s a new and amazing bit of dieting technology that blows fingers-down-throat post-dinner bulimia out of the water.

It is also absolutely disgraceful even before you stop and think about how many starving people there are in the world.

It is also hilariously close to having a front-butt. Just one a little bit closer to the mouth-end of your digestive system, so presumably a) what comes out doesn’t look or smell like poo and b) you lose weight doing this because the nutrients and sugar and fat and stuff hasn’t been absorbed into your body yet.

So yeah, it is basically exactly having a vomit after eating. You just do it through a tap.

I’m not sure how you’re supposed to stop at “one third” of your intake. All I know is we are one step closer to Baron Harkonnen becoming a glorious reality.

The Baron.

Pictured: The future.
Not pictured: Redemption.

In other news, today is the day Marty McFly and Doc Brown are supposed to land in the DeLorean from 1985. And this is the technological advancement we’ve decided to greet him with. No, not power laces. No, not Jaws 19. No, not hoverboards – what? There is?

Oh, okay then. I guess that restores a little of my faith in humanity.

This entry was posted in Hatboy's Nuggets of Crispy-Fried Wisdom and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Welcome to the future

  1. aaronthepatriot says:

    Holy shit. I need one of those.

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