Day 55. 210 pages, 99,552 words.
This morning – because I am super-busy and didn’t have much time to put into the blog, on account of holy crap I think I’m just about to finish this book more than ten days ahead of schedule – I saw a trending story on my Facebook feed about a woman who had sex with her friend.
The twist was, her friend was another woman, using a strap-on. No, wait, the real twist was, the strap-on-er was all got up in bandages and a hat, and the strap-on-ee was in a blindfold. No, the actual twist was, the strap-on-ee didn’t know the strap-on-er was her female friend, and in fact thought she was a male cancer patient ashamed of his scars, whose name was Kye Fortune.
No, hold on, the twist was that they’d been together for two years and had sex a whole bunch of times.
I … ehh, this is a stretch. I’m busy and this was only mildly amusing. Classic slow news day. It seems pretty likely that the woman – I’ve gone with ‘strap-on-ee’ so I guess I’ll have to stick with that – is just flat-out lying for some bizarre reason. That she was in fact perfectly well-aware that she was being diddled by her girlfriend using a prosthetic penis, and is now pretending to have been duped, because reasons.
The alternative is actually buying, for a single feverish moment, that someone could have a two-year mostly-online relationship with someone while blindfolded the entire time they’re together in real life, right down to the pair of them actually having sex.
Still, at five in the morning with my coffee still mostly un-drunk, this was a surreal way to start the day.
If this woman is really unstable or troubled or traumatised, I am of course sorry as Hell.
But in the meantime, I think Kye Fortune needs to be a comic book hero. Possibly in Oglaf.