Don’t post anything with PostNord

Today has not been the greatest day ever so far. An endless night with an adorable, chirpy-arse one-year-old who just didn’t seem to know or care that it was 3:00am; mystery technical bugs at work; oncoming cold; and then there’s these cunts.

PostNord.

I have managed to piece together, from parcel tracking, that it must have been my dear well-meaning brother who has tried to send me a gift using these fucking rodeo clowns as couriers. He is travelling, and the package came from Turkey which was one of his known locations and to be honest I don’t know anyone in Turkey who would send me a package otherwise.

PostNord may have been his only option.

Now, I don’t run a package-delivery and logistics business, so I can’t pretend to be an expert. But I would imagine that (a) reading the address on the package and (b) getting the package into the hands of the people living at that address are the main things you need to do in order to do this job. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you also need to (c) be great at arranging bunches of flowers into humorous dick-shapes. Maybe they’re fucking awesome at that. I hope so, because they suck at (a) and (b).

The first I hear from these guys, it is when we return from dinner at my cousin-in-law’s place on Friday night, about 10:30pm. There is a note stuffed in our door saying, basically, “we tried to deliver a package, we missed you, call to arrange a new time.”

Fair enough. Happens a lot.

Now, first of all, their delivery times are 16:30-21:00. This is actually pretty cool, if you work. It means they’ll come in the evening and drop off your stuff. Not sure who they were expecting to be home at that time on a Friday, but okay. Let’s be honest, under normal circumstances we would have been. We’re not that social.

They also sent me a “we missed you” text message, but my phone was dead at the time so obviously I didn’t get it. No foul to PostNord in this case.

Then, they tried to deliver again. Without us calling them.

This time, it must have been at about 11:00am on Monday morning. Because I was out for my walk when I got a text message, same as the last time.

The text message included a number to call and arrange a new delivery time, so I tried to call it. I ended up in a queue. And the recorded voice told me I was being charged for waiting in the queue.

So I hung up and decided, quietly and non-judgementally, that they were cunts. It happens.

I went to their website to lodge a complaint. Or just a suggestion. Pursuant to point (b) above, I thought, why not send a text message before you come to deliver a package? A text message the package recipient can reply to and say “sure, thanks, I’ll expect you in an hour.”

Because sending one after you’ve missed us? Pointless and infuriating. Especially since you actually leave no recourse to reschedule.

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Oh yeah, this is an illustrated journey. Although the illustrations are mostly also text.

The website also offered an electronic means of rescheduling your delivery, but you had to login with your tracking number (which I had used to determine that this mystery package was coming from Turkey), and a barcode (not provided anywhere, but which I have since tracked down to the wad of paper they stuffed in my door on the first failed delivery attempt). So, no login, no electronic reschedule.

postnord (1a)

I may have been a little rude about it, but I didn’t send this to them.

So, I did finally get a response from their customer service team, and got around to trying to reschedule the stupid delivery. That’s when this started to happen.

postnord (2)

postnord (3)

postnord (4)

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Needless to say, I will not be recommending PostNord to anyone who wants anything delivered anywhere, ever.

I don’t care how good their floral cocks are.

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18 Responses to Don’t post anything with PostNord

  1. brknwntr says:

    I suspect somewhere, there is a PostNord employee writing a blog post about how proud he is of himself for not responding that “Did you not see the #&@%# viivakoodi on the first note we left you on your door?” He is also commenting on how annoying it is that he is expected to deal with customer service issues in English.

    However, since he is likely playing with a floral phallus at the same time, we can go ahead and slab him off all we want.

    • stchucky says:

      Given how bad they seem to be at actually managing the reschedule procedure (seriously, they need my address? They’ve been here at least twice and the address is on the package), I’m going to have to overrule that hypothetical blog post on the grounds that it wouldn’t have mattered if I had managed to sign into their shitty web service with its obscure mystery-SMS username and wad-of-paper password system. We would still have arrived at the same dumb place in the process.

      • brknwntr says:

        I admit that asking for your address is spectacularly stupid.

      • stchucky says:

        I admit that asking for your address is spectacularly stupid.

        Also my phone number, twice, after they had somehow already managed to text me?

        I only threw English in there because my reply looked bare on stuff for him to complain about.

        You are a common troll, sir.

        Well, crap.
        I hit post on accident before I read through that again.

        I fixed it, in my quote at least.

    • stchucky says:

      And yes, I did manage to do half of the stupid thing in Finnish, from Friday on through to the website visit. But once they started being an aggressive inconvenience to me, I stopped doing them the courtesy. Plus, the stuff I have posted here is mostly English since that’s the language I generally use on the blog, that’s all.

      Since the package came from Turkey maybe I should have talked to them in Turkish? Fuck that, an address is an address and I don’t care what language you use.

  2. brknwntr says:

    The Wife said the company she works for switched from using the Finnish Posti system to PostNord about a year ago to save money. They are now negotiating to find a new postage service. PostNord has consistently screwed up the deliveries, and is known for throwing the packages. Glassware items are likely to be broken on arrival.

  3. aaronthepatriot says:

    Oh the schadenfreude I am experiencing here. LMAO thank you so much for this! And I really don’t think you gave them your phone number very well, try harder next time. It didn’t stick!

    • stchucky says:

      Hee hee, well it was worth it in the end! It finally arrived and turned out to be my Iron Sky board game that I got as a crowdfunding perk, wait, did I say this already?

  4. aaronthepatriot says:

    “I recently penned the name “Hateboy” for myself.

    *straight face*”

    Whoa that’s brilliant! Come up with that all on your own, too? Amazing!

    *straighter face*

  5. Pingback: Interlude: Customer service | Hatboy's Hatstand

  6. Pingback: Guess I really do need to draw some fuckleheads a picture | Hatboy's Hatstand

  7. Pingback: Random directionless grumbling | Hatboy's Hatstand

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