Had a dream on Tuesday morning.
It was something to do with Jurassic Park (or at least Jurassic Park, the theme park, as opposed to the movie), although unfortunately it was completely on the sidelines and there were no dinosaurs at all. Totally disappointing. I, and a friend of mine (and I have no idea who this friend was), were investigators of some kind. There was a big journalist-y brouhaha going on outside the InGen offices, with people asking the InGen spokesman about the rumours that they were creating “monsters”.
My friend and I bypassed this and made our way into the InGen office, which was very big and modern and stylish. I had gotten a visitor card from somewhere or other, so we were able to make our way past the reception desk and into the deep bowels of the office building. After getting in an elevator that turned out to be of the up-and-down and side-to-side glass variety rather like the one in Cabin in the Woods, we ended up somewhere in the sub-basement, which was actually more of a cross between a semi-constructed parking garage and a natural cave.
Speaking of bowels, my friend at this point turned into Donna Noble from Doctor Who – a pretty decent sidekick to infiltrate the InGen office with, right? – but she then needed desperately to go to “the loo”. That was funny until I, in complete dreamlike denial of my actual physical reality, also started to need to go to the toilet. Donna found a toilet first, down in the weird carpark cave, and went inside. Hideously loud and protracted diarrhoea noises ensued, and I shuddered and moved on because I knew she would be furious at me for overhearing.
It was at this point I had a flashback and remembered the receptionist who had checked my visitor card telling us that there were toilets we could use, and how to use them. For some reason the instruction “sit on the toilet and activate it by saying ‘pool’” had stuck in my memory. Yes, I said pool, not poo – although in my dream I may have mis-heard.
I found my way back into the office building proper, and into this super-advanced and weird unisex toilet with an assortment of bizarre stencilled icons on the stall doors. Instead of just male and female stick figures in pants and dresses respectively, there was a half-dozen different shapes and sizes of stick figures and most of them seemed to be accompanied by stick figures of midgets or small robots. I didn’t have a robot with me (or a midget), but I went for it anyway. The toilet turned out to be this sort of thing you had to climb up into, as though the gap in the door at the bottom of the stall was the only way into it and that was at chest-height, and then inside there was only enough room around the toilet to sort of squeeze yourself into a sitting position, so you were entirely enclosed by this sort of padded framework with the occasional glass window – one at head-height, and others in the floor and seat-level.
This wasn’t readily apparent until I had sat down, said “pool”, and started trying to squirm out of my pants. At which point the whole toilet stall suddenly went mobile, like one of those transporter modules from Wall-E – yes, this was a smorgasbord of movie references – and hovered me off down a corridor, sitting on the toilet in full view of what turned out to be a really rather crowded office-building-slash-hotel-slash-spa.
Undaunted, as I hovered over the heads of the crowds in the corridor, presumably on my way to the pool, I continued trying to get my pants off.
I woke up, however, before I could seal the deal.