The Arnold Paradox

Day 35. 84 pages, 41,330 words.

Here’s one for the Arnold fans.

I know you’re out there.

Yeah, I think this is actually what it says on the box. Enter a competition, go to the US, drive around with Arnold crushing shit in a tank.

It is at once the most spectacularly stupid and immature thing I think I have ever seen (and I say this as the father of a slightly over-active four-year-old), and also completely amazing and I would have been very tempted to enter, just for the sheer simplistic joy of it, if the whole thing hadn’t been over about a year ago.

One wonders how this man ever rose to a position of authority, elected by the people and for the people. And then one wonders, how could he not? How did he ever manage to mess up something for which he is clearly so suited – the captivation and delighting of USians?

It’s a paradox.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
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2 Responses to The Arnold Paradox

  1. aaronthepatriot says:

    I have never before liked crushing things with tanks or with anything else other than my massive intellect. But now I have this urge to crush some fucking things with a fucking tank! GRAAAAAAAAA

    Starting with these Dixie Chicks albums I just bought for the purpose. Hope I win the contest!

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