Colostomy Bag: The T-shirt!

Day 44. 112 pages, 51,910 words. Not much change, I slept in yesterday.

Today’s blog post is a little community service announcement from my new favourite cause, Uncover Ostomy.

This site, in case I didn’t drum it in enough yet, is all about telling people exactly what’s up with the whole *ostomy thing. They’re a bit of a taboo subject and tend to eww people out, but that’s before you get to know them. The truth is, most of you will have an ostomate in your life (if you’re reading this blog you do, anyway), and that person is alive because of these little baggies.

Isn’t that good? Good enough reason to like them if you ask me (and I know you didn’t, but that’s just because I wasn’t letting you get a word in).

So, to celebrate The Bag and all it stands for (with as tasteful a glossing-over of the whole poo-issue as possible), may I present the *ostomy T-shirt:

True story.

You know you want to.

The shirts come in all sizes, for adults and kids. You can get the standard shirt if you happen to have an *ostomy, so you can mark down where the *ostomy is and show it off (in case you’re not in the habit of showing people anyway, and haven’t written a book about it).

Or, if you’re a back-butt type and want to show your support, get one of these “this is where my ostomy would be” shirts, and mark the spot yourself. The shirt comes with a free shirt-marking pen which you can probably use on any number of shirts for all sorts of purposes, so it’s pretty much worth the price just for that (because you can’t buy fabric pens anywhere).

In the unlikely event that you had an *ostomy but have had it reversed and now you’re a back-butt again, there’s even a shirt for you.

So, until August 26th – go and pick up a shirt to show your pride and solidarity. They ship worldwide and you’re only going to get charged if we meet our request quota, so there’s really no downside.


Go on.

Go on, be a tiger.

Even if you don’t buy one yourself (you monster), use the mighty power of social media to share the message around, like some sort of horrible spam creature from the depths of the 1990s.

Go for it!

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
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4 Responses to Colostomy Bag: The T-shirt!

  1. dreameling says:

    Your crafty rhetoric and that adorable half-smile in your avatar pic have swayed me! I will reserve one.

    I guess it would be a bit gross (and ever so slightly ominous) to buy a teeny tiny shirt for my teeny tiny baby girl? Yes, yes it would. (But the image in my mind now is kinda hilarious. (Sorry if this is in bad taste.))

    • stchucky says:

      Beautiful. But yes, maybe hold off until she is in a position to make her own social statements.

      Your act is greatly appreciated, sir. This half-smile’s for you.

  2. aaronthepatriot says:

    I love you man, but…uhh…well let me check with the wife.

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