Guardians of the Galaxy

Day 40. 102 pages, 47,144 words.

Well, I have a new favourite movie. Probably favourite movie ever. I’d be hard-pressed to think of a movie I enjoyed as much as this, although I’m sure there are cherished childhood classics that might possibly dare to stand on the medal dais with Guardians of the Galaxy.

I think that probably sums it up. You should already have stopped reading this and be on your way to see the movie (again) right now. I actually sat and filmed a small review for Vine even as the credits were rolling:

Do you see what I did there? You better.

Yes, this movie absolutely failed to disappoint even after all the hype and trailer madness and excitement around it. I admittedly did my best to avoid as much of that as I could after seeing a couple of trailers, but I think Guardians of the Galaxy stands up to the erosion effect by this simple stunning achievement: they somehow managed to only use ‘C’ material, ‘B’ at best, in the trailers.

Yeah, you think about that.

I’m not going to throw any spoilers in here and I don’t want to oversell it. Just go and watch for yourself. I was laughing, and whooping, and clapping like an over-stimulated happy little geekboy all the way through this movie. The one scene it lacked[1] that Avengers Assemble had – and this is by no means a failing, it’s just a fact – was the stirring final-battle everyone-together-ready-to-kick-arse pan-around. You know the one.

Avengers ASSEMBLE!

That one.

[1] Well, sort-of lacked. They did get their obligatory Big Damn Hero moments. But it wasn’t quite the same, since the Avengers took all that lead-up before actually assembling. That was why the movie was called Avengers Assemble.

From the music to the visuals to the dialogue to the plot, this movie aced them all. Yes, it was your basic Marvel villain-and-relic-threaten-world plotline, with an over-arching Avengers-related story, but I’ll say no more. It was original and it was classic. And the credits scenes. Oh my fucking God.

If pressed, I guess there was one tiny niggle, one point at which I snapped out of the movie a tiny bit and thought how is that happening, that doesn’t seem right, and it was the spacewalk-rescue scene. See the movie and you’ll get the one I mean. I’m not sure how that worked, given what we know of explosive decompression and vacuum and cold and all that. But that’s still entirely forgivable due to a) the nature of the characters involved; b) the technology that may or may not have been involved; c) the location of the scene, whether in space or simply high stratosphere, I don’t know, make up your own minds; d) the scene itself being extremely awesome.

You got a quibble? I got a rash.

Rocket’s got your technical quibbles right here.

Okay, I’m going to schlurp up out of my puddle of mixed fanboy fluids and go to bed now. I’m spent. ‘Nuff said.

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14 Responses to Guardians of the Galaxy

  1. Beer Rot says:

    omgomgomg raccoons don’t have detached scrotum, there would be nothing for Rocket to adjust!

    As for the spacewalk scene, I put it down to three things.

    1. Gamorrah’s species’ natural reaction to explosive decompression is an unknown.
    2. She has bio mods.
    3. Petey boy is half something else.

    I actually had the same thought the first time I saw him jetting around in space with no gloves on.

    • stchucky says:

      omgomgomg raccoons don’t have detached scrotum, there would be nothing for Rocket to adjust!

      Aw, that could have been nothing to do with balls, just correcting a bit of ride-up.

      As for the spacewalk scene, I put it down to three things.

      1. Gamorrah’s species’ natural reaction to explosive decompression is an unknown.
      2. She has bio mods.
      3. Petey boy is half something else.

      I actually had the same thought the first time I saw him jetting around in space with no gloves on.

      Still trying to avoid spoilers, but if people who haven’t seen the movie yet end up reading the comments section of a movie review, that’s their own fault.

      But yeah, I agree with you here. This was sort of where I ended up with it too, just deciding that it was OK. First I thought (it was his hair flapping as he flew around in space helmetless that got me, why would that happen?) that it was something in that helmet. Maybe it throws a mini-field of some sort around his entire body? Would seem to make sense since he only started to freeze after deactivating it. Just having a faceplate would not have that effect.

      All in all, though, if “does stuff slightly oddly in space” is the only problem I can find, then damn.

      I’m sure if we give it a couple of weeks the a) joyless pedantic hipsters and b) humourous EWW, HISHE and Honest Trailers teams will get rolling on this and a whole lot more shit will come to light. But their complaining couldn’t spoil Avengers Assemble for me and it’s sure as shit not going to spoil Guardians of the Galaxy.

  2. ohilya says:

    Saw this movie opening night with a good friend. We had an absolute ball. Absolute. Ball. We laughed, we clapped, we felt sorrow, we nearly punched the freakin’ air, and we were completely delighted by everything on screen during every single second of the movie. My attention span was cranked up to a million for this movie. It’s quickly shot up into my Top 5 movies.

    I’m already planning to see it again tomorrow.

    • stchucky says:

      Agreed on all counts. Will be dragging Mrs. Hatboy to see it as soon as possible.

      • ohilya says:

        Ditto. Will be taking my partner to see this as soon as he returns from London. Until then, seeing it tomorrow again with a friend. Have already booked tickets.

  3. ohilya says:

    Also, I can’t see anything when attempting to play your Vine video. Am uncertain why. Thought it worth mentioning.

  4. dreameling says:

    Going to see this in 2D on Monday. Quite excited.

  5. dreameling says:

    Oh man, I really really liked this one. Definitely one of the very best Marvel outings so far. I so want to go see this again.

    All in all, though, if “does stuff slightly oddly in space” is the only problem I can find, then damn.

    Yeah, this bit (and the earlier one where Quill space-flew away from the prison station) kind of threw me, but I figured there was just some sort of residual atmosphere in play (i.e., your point “c”). I’m sure there’s an in-verse explanation that makes total sense. And even if there isn’t, I don’t care.

    And the credits scenes. Oh my fucking God.

    Oh man. That was… I don’t even… fucking batshit crazy brilliant. Perfectly in tune with the tone of the movie and just the pitch-perfect subversion of what you’d expect of Marvel’s post-credits MCU mythology building. (The related movie was one of my favorites in the 80s!)

    I so want to see this again.

    And the sequel has already been announced, scheduled for release on 28 July 2017. Weeeee!

    PS. I now have a man-crush on Chris Pratt.

    • stchucky says:

      All in all, though, if “does stuff slightly oddly in space” is the only problem I can find, then damn.

      Yeah, this bit (and the earlier one where Quill space-flew away from the prison station) kind of threw me, but I figured there was just some sort of residual atmosphere in play (i.e., your point “c”). I’m sure there’s an in-verse explanation that makes total sense. And even if there isn’t, I don’t care.

      Part of me was asking “why is his hair wiffling in the breeze instead of freezing solid or just sitting still?”. The other parts alternately distracted it, went down on hands and knees behind its legs, and pushed it in the chest and made it fall over on its bottom. Then ran away, laughing and clapping their hands joyfully.

      Oh man. That was… I don’t even… fucking batshit crazy brilliant. Perfectly in tune with the tone of the movie and just the pitch-perfect subversion of what you’d expect of Marvel’s post-credits MCU mythology building. (The related movie was one of my favorites in the 80s!)

      Been a long time since I saw it, but this scene was just perfect. Although part of me (another part, one that played no role in the childish antics above) was hoping for some sort of Landau, Luckman & Lake reference that might tie into a Deadpool In Space story, I guess that’s way more likely to be X-Men property. Captain America is an agent of theirs, though. If anything was going to help reunite “Marvel” and the X-Men movies, it would be LL&L.

      PS. I now have a man-crush on Chris Pratt.

      I was looking for a hilarious “n reasons to go and see Guardians of the Galaxy” article someone shared on Facebook, where all the screencaps just kept morphing back to Chris Pratt’s abs.

      Part of me was … never mind.

      • dreameling says:

        You, sir, are indeed a man of many parts. Assembly must’ve been a bitch.

        Never heard of the LLL before. Also never heard of “immanentize the eschaton”, which is now my favorite phrase of the week. Reads and sounds so cool.

        Yeah, Fox owns Deadpool, but LLL definitely seems like an interesting player to include in the MCU. Heck, it practically begs a TV series around it and its agents (although that might be a bit too close to the S.H.I.E.L.D. series).

        Been a long time since I saw it, but this scene was just perfect.

        Hey, next company movie night! (Assuming it’s available on DVD or BD.)

      • stchucky says:

        They would be fools not to release Howard now that interest in it is at a level never before experienced.

        And next time I’m making fraudulent LB merchandise, I may have to use the tagline “immanentize the eschaton”.

        LL&L are badass. They had a Minority Report division way before Minority Report existed.

      • dreameling says:

        Howard The Duck – Ein tierischer Held! Let’s watch it in German!

        That’s totally going into my to-buy list (the English version, not the German one).

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