Based on a true story

Day 23. 44 pages, 20,299 words.

So, as the following Facebook vignette will illustrate, last night I switched on the blu-ray and went onto YouTube (my God, the vistas of entertainment that simple feature has opened up!), and went looking for the first episode of Astro Boy, on a whim. This was (after a little Wikipedia research) the ’80s series, not the ’60s series. It would, I thought, be a fun bedtime-snack show for Wump to watch and a little trip down memory lane for me.

True story.

This is how it went.

Okay, so maybe it’s not full-on hentai. I’m sure purists (although with hentai I use the term extremely loosely) will correct me on what exactly this was. Maybe it’s just anime with a healthy amount of girl-robots dressed as maids and oiled-looking prepubescent-boy-robots in shiny black underpants. Although arguably the only healthy amount of oiled-looking prepubescent-boy-robots in shiny black underpants is none at all.

I just remember a lot of explosions and flying and great big insect-robots that Astro Boy bashed to bits. I had absolutely no idea until later in life that what I was really watching was essentially a spooky little slice of Japanese popular culture. About the nicest thing you can say about it was that it was a modern re-imagining of the Pinocchio story. Man loses son, man makes devastatingly powerful flying laser-fingered machine-gun-butted robot version of son (I want to say this is not because man is Japanese, but can we just take a moment and be honest here?), son has adventures. I remember Doctor Elephant.


I don’t remember Atlas.

All in all, the experience was eye-opening and hair-raising and hysterically funny. Only being able to get it in Japanese actually added to the effect, although I was able to find subtitles later on. These didn’t help Wump, but she didn’t seem to mind the Japanese anyway. I suspect it is because she understands Japanese.

Oh Japan. Never change.

“Learn!” – ahh, that awe-inspiring Japanese warcry.

But yeah, wow. That was Astro Boy, I guess. I liked anime before it was cool. Apparently.

I can’t help but notice they made him older, more fully-clothed, and way less creepy for the CGI remake, although I haven’t seen that yet. I see it’s on YouTube too, so I might check it out there before going all-out and buying the DVD…

New Astro Boy

Maybe it will give me fewer nightmares.

…although a quick Google search shows me that he still has these babies.

Machine gun buttocks.

I should have had one of these installed when I had my butt closed.

I also decided to stop watching before Astro Boy’s little sister-robot showed up.

I've seen enough hentai...

Because I’ve seen enough hentai to know – yeah, you get it.

Official disclaimer: I have seen enough hentai memes to make the “I’ve seen enough hentai” joke. Beyond that, I’m saying nothing without a lawyer present.

This entry was posted in Hatboy's Nuggets of Crispy-Fried Wisdom, Kussa mun hopoti? and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Based on a true story

  1. Linza says:

    Wow. Well, I’ve never seen AstroBoy, but that seems about on par with most anime from the 80s.

    • stchucky says:

      I’m not sure if I have the courage to look at G-Force (Guardians of Space) or either Voltron (the one with the lions or the one with the cars). But I suspect you’re right.

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