Day 17. 33 pages, 15,559 words.
I continue this week’s warm fuzzy feel-good-a-thon with a new post about what makes me grin like a big loon pretty much every time.
The following is a classic Internet countdown, and basically is about what the title of this blog entry says it is about. Let’s do this.
5. LL Cool J’s Last Testament (Deep Blue Sea)
This was a hilariously silly and amazingly terrible movie and all most people remember about it is that it features Samuel L Jackson essentially doing a warm-up to “I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane” and then getting torn to pieces by a hysterically unexpected shark. Me, I loved it.
But my favourite scene in the movie? Chef Dudley’s advice on how to cook a perfect omelette:
The recipe itself is, of course, incomplete. But the opening snippet is enough. The delivery is perfect. The heart undeniable. Anyone who says LL Cool J can’t act, fine. Then he sure as shit can cook an omelette.
4. The “Gozer the Traveller” Speech (Ghostbusters)
A classic example of the sort of nerd-tangent that protagonists often “humorously” shut down in a movie due to being “boring” or “beside the point”, but which I could listen to for long, rambling and preposterously happy hours:
“Gozer the Traveller. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveller came as a large and moving Torb! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day, I can tell you!”
3. Data (Independence Day)
Okay, I know it’s not really Data. But I love this scene. Not because I like to imagine that Doctor Okun somehow is Data (although I do), and not because that means Jayne Cobb is also in this movie (although he is), but because of that enthusiasm:
And because I like to make up searing comebacks he should have used when the President dressed him down for his eagerness.
“Oh, people are dying? You’ll have to excuse me, Mister President, I’ve been officially dead since Hippies walked the Earth, and studying this weird alien machinery is the only thing I’ve done for my entire adult life, so yeah. When it all powers up I’m going to be excited, I’m so very sorry about all the people of absolutely zero relevance to me who apparently died somewhere, that must suck for someone who didn’t give up any chance of love and meaningful human contact when he signed the Area 51 Secrets Act. Oh and PS, fuck you.”
2. “SOMEBODY FIRE!” (Serenity)
That is all:
1. Ralph’s Final Bad-Anon Testimonial (Wreck-It Ralph)
“Because if that little kid likes me, how bad can I be?”