Torquis in Machina, Part 20

“You’re not going to call the guards?”

“No. I assume you’re going to want to leave here, though, and you’re not likely to manage that without meeting a few of them.”

“I don’t suppose you’d care to tell me your entire plan before I try to leave?”

“Even if I had a plan, I am afraid I couldn’t share it with you,” the probably-Grand-Vizier replied. “The rules, you see.”

“Of course.”

I looked around the throne room again, wondering just what my options were. This whole situation was a twelve-car pileup, and even though I was arguably a mechanic and a doctor, I just didn’t know where to start. The metaphor was spectacularly inappropriate, but refused to go away. It was, I reflected, exactly like Creepy in that regard.

My glum examination of the chamber brought me back to the man who might have been a Chamberlain, who was standing with a faintly apologetic smile on his face and with his hands folded in front of him like a pair of dead albino bats.

“Who are you, anyway?” I asked.

“Me? I am the bastard son of Sir Garçon de Chapeau, abdicated heir to the jade throne of Xix and assistant court historian,” the man replied. “Perhaps this might explain why I am so careful to avoid having the rules apply to me.”

Make that a thirteen-car pileup, I thought to myself.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy. https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
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3 Responses to Torquis in Machina, Part 20

  1. dreameling says:

    This may be the very first time sex is alluded to in a Creepy & Hatboy story (at least among the stories that I’ve read on this blog). How active sex lives do these guys have anyway?

    • stchucky says:

      I would describe their sex lives as “tastefully extant”. Both have their histories and their complications. Creepy, for example, has a bit of a backstory that explains his abstinence (as such, this plot twist is somewhat out of character, but there are extenuating circumstances and the gag was simply too good to pass up). The main reason it’s minimised is simply because Creepy and Hatboy are so closely based on me and my friend, it just felt awkward to write sex. Especially after we graduated from university and got wives and all.

  2. dreameling says:

    What a prude you are!

    (No, seriously, I can see why that would awkward. Forget I asked!)

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