Excuse me, what did I just read?

I was amused, and then outraged, this morning by a link sent to me by a friend. We sometimes share these fun eye-rolling moments, and this one was a hum-dinger.

In this “trending” story, apparently fans are raging about George RR Martin not finishing the damn books.

Okay, so for a start I think this completely misses the definition of “news”, since this is not “news” in any sense whatsoever. This has never been news. Fans have been bitching about this forever. They started doing it the moment Martin published a book that was part of a series instead of a stand-alone. And even then, it was just transferred rage from a previous author who had started a series and not finished it yet. Going back to before the inception of the written word.

I need closure on this story, Grug.

“Yeah, and then what happened? THEN WHAT? DON’T FUCKING GO OFF AND DO ANOTHER FUCKING SILHOUETTE OF YOUR FUCKING HAND YOU CUNT, YOU OWE ME CLOSURE ON THAT FUCKING GAZELLE THING.”

Let’s start at the start.

Urge to nerdkill ... rising...

No, no, no.

First of all, Martin isn’t author of a series called Game of Thrones. That’s just the title of the first book and it’s what they called the TV series because they knew it would confuse idiots, and therefore lose them viewers, if they gave series 2 a different name. I’m not entirely sure why they didn’t call the TV series A Song of Ice and Fire, but I’m okay with it because this means the show is its own thing. Anyone who bitches about them not copying the books exactly is also an idiot, because this isn’t a TV adaptation of A Song of Ice and Fire, it’s a show called Game of Thrones which is just coincidentally similar. A lot of what he said here about his characters and the scenes in the TV series bears this out.

So whatever. But don’t be saying he wrote a series called Game of Thrones.

Secondly, there’s a snippet in there about a new/old chapter release, which includes an obvious direwolf warg-dream, probably about Nymeria. I won’t go into full-on nerdrage about the “excerpt also showed hints that this could not just be a plain nightmare and could be something else” idiocy. I’m all burned out. I’ll just say this: if you don’t know who Nymeria is, fuck you. Just fuck you.

Thirdly, “However, because there have been no official dates announced for the release of the 1,500-word novel, his fans have grown impatient with the wait.”

Fifteen-hundred-word novel? Would you please proof-read your fucking text, arseclown?

Fourthly, “The rage of his fans can be traced back to 2009, according to Vocativ.”

I don’t know who or what Vocativ is and I don’t care. 2009? That’s when anger started? No, like I said, the anger started millennia ago. But specifically as relates to Martin? No. Speaking purely for myself, by 2009 I’d already been on Facebook for two years, which means I’d been off Usenet for two years, and I’d stopped being angry about the wait between books before that.

And I came late to the books! When I started reading them, we were in the long, dark waiting period before A Feast for Crows, which was published in 2005. I joined the newsgroup alt.fan.grrm (“GRRuMblers” my arse) in the early 2000s when it branched off from alt.fan.robert-jordan. Not having read the books yet at that point, I joined the group due to a promise that I would keep it alive with stupid jokes and argumentative comments if it looked like dying. After about three days, I realised the group was going to do fine without my ignorant-arse babbling, so I read the books and joined in the actual discussion.

And yes, a lot of it even back then was about how lazy Martin was, and how he owed his readers a story due to the unwritten contract of beginning a series and then not ending it. And there’s a lot to be said about that debate, but news? News it ain’t.

Lastly, “Some of the commenters said, “I don’t think he feels any stress or shame for being a lazy f**ker. If that were the case I think he would be at home trying to fix the mess he made and barely showing his face in public unless he had to, instead he is traveling and enjoying life and not writing anything.””

I sincerely hope this was said in jest. All the TV show work he’s doing, the travelling and living, it all goes into his writing and if he’s not enjoying life then how can he be expected to produce anything? Me, I like his side-projects and the books are just gravy. I think it was back in 2008 or so when he came to Finland for Finncon and I got him to sign my Game of Thrones: The Board Game board, as a sign of solidarity and approval of his other projects. Seriously, enough with the over-entitled fanboy bullplop.

Yes.

Go for it, George.

But yeah. Good article. Sheesh.

I think I need a song to cheer me up.

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13 Responses to Excuse me, what did I just read?

  1. JonathanBloom says:

    I know that saying “get a life” isn’t much a response, but it’s really all that I can come up with when I encounter peop- nah, *things* like these.

    Oh, the book that the guy is CREATING for you isn’t ready at your convenience? Boo-fucking-hoo. The story that he has INVENTED and cultivated over the years for you isn’t ready just now? Someone call the whaaaaambulance.
    The massive epic that is his life’s work isn’t magically in front of you because you feel like it? Here’s some cheese to go with that whine.

    My blood pressure. Argh.

  2. MIan says:

    Um. Most writers when told to “get a life” mean “go work in the sewers, you arse.” not sail around the world signing books.

    I’m certain Mr. “Do you know who I am?” doesn’t know how to finish his books, and that’s why they’re taking so long.

    Chtorr!

    • stchucky says:

      I’m not sure what you mean by this, but I’m pretty sure Mr. Bloom was telling the complainers to get a life.

      And if Mr. “Do you know who I am?” refers to Martin, he may be having a problem with finishing this series (it looks like his life’s epic and the one he’ll be remembered for), but he doesn’t have trouble finishing books.

      They even seem to have happy endings, most of them.

  3. BRKN says:

    My favorite Military Sci-Fi author started writing a series in 2003, he wrote four books, with the last published in 2006, it is clearly NOT the end of the series, and yet he has published nothing since. he did start a new series in 2005, publishing four books, with the last two both coming in 2008, again, series not finished, CLEARLY not the end, but whatevs. He has a main series, which he wrote four books for between 2000 and 2003, but then nothing again until ONE book in 2009, despite spawning 22 spinoff series, each with their own three book run over a four year period. He has a sixth series, with, oddly enough, six books in it, to which he has contributed regularly from 2005-2013. the man as an author is prolific as hell. He is also, as an author, annoying as fuck.

    Brandon Sanderson took four years to come out with Words of Radiance, which was beautiful, amazing, perfection in the written word, and after a four year wait, took me 5 or so hours to read……….

    i have identical stories to these for a grand total of (i just went and counted the list of books i am waiting for to come out) 15 books by 12 authors. i generally re-read an entire series before the new book comes out, which for something like A Song of Ice and Fire, The Sword of Truth, or an Anita Blake book could be anywhere between 2 weeks and a month or more, depending on the amount of free time i have.

    Come at me pussy wanna-be-fan-bitches, i will eat your souls.
    (then offer them up to GRRM in the hopes that he can use them to fuel his creative fires)

    P.S. Also i will offer ANYONE’S still beating heart on a replica dragonglass dagger if “#¤&% “# /¤&¤”” could be still alive at the beginning of the next book.

    P.P.S and none of that BS like we did with “#&¤”%# or “#&¤%”#¤ or “#&¤%”#.

    P.P.P.S. I have serious Arya questions that need answering

  4. BRKN says:

    Also, War and Creepy; Part 5 “cough cough”

    • stchucky says:

      As mentioned elsewhere, I have that whole thing written but it is a lazy go-to set of posts for when I don’t have time to write anything. So I’m holding off on copy-pasting them until, say, my parents get here.

      • stchucky says:

        (and I don’t mean this, to keep it on-topic, in a GRRM “I already have this written, it’s just a matter of publishing it, oops looks like I need to re-write it, it may be some years” sense)

  5. Pingback: Friday, wee small hours of | Hatboy's Hatstand

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