War and Creepy, Part 4

So, essentially, we had a situation where the sidekick with the longest attention-span wins.  Which of us was going to get sick of the I Can’t Make New Memories Game first?

I reflected, as Creepy smiled baffledly, that there was a good chance he’d already won.

“Um, listen, this is going to sound a little weird, but I have this condition…”

“Chronic groin pain?”

He stepped back out of kicking range, proving that his loss of short-term memory wasn’t affecting his sense of self-preservation.  “I’ve told you about my condition before?”

“No, but people like you almost always suffer from chronic groin pain.  Sooner or later.”

“I’ve made a breakthrough in my case,” he said excitedly, waving his Polaroids and fistfuls of notes.  “I need you – and Yool, the vigorously buff Christmas tree who has been here the whole time – to come with me.”


Instead of answering, he tapped the back of my picture.  I leaned forward and read it.

“He thinks he’s funny but he’s not,” I recited aloud.  “Don’t let him write new notes.  His name is Sputum and he’s trying to kill me.  Don’t let him put on his sunglasses and go outside.  The clues are written on his…” I glared at Creepy.  “You wrote notes on my…”



“How should I know?”  he eyed me up and down.  “I hope I wore gloves.”

I’d thought I was unimpressed before, but my unimpressedness began to explore new levels of impressedness-deficit.  I should have seen where it was all heading, and known that this was just the beginning.  This is the point where Creepy will invariably blame –


About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy. https://hatboy.blog/2013/12/17/metalude-who-are-creepy-and-hatboy/
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