You Have Much to Learn, Young Witchety Grub

Laziness is a complex and deeply involved philosophical concept.

A great many ostensibly lazy people put more effort into being lazy than a truly lazy person will put into performing a task. Even more frightening, some people put more effort into being lazy than an active person will put into performing a task. 

They master a range of skills with no goal in mind but sloth, and continually obsess over whether or not they are as relaxed as they ought to be, and whether or not their minimal movements classify as actions, and to me this is missing the point. Being lazy should at no point entail effort or stress.

It is very trite to say that to be lazy, sometimes one must be active. This is not the case at all. It is not possible to avoid activity altogether, and anybody who implies otherwise has much to learn. Moreover, anybody who implies that it is possible to exist without performing any function whatsoever is one of those people I warned you about. The sorts who claim to be lazy, but in fact put too much effort into being lazy to really classify as anything but try-hard lazy. And I think we all see the contradiction there. They are not to be trusted, young witchety grub.

Sometimes, one must be active, whether one is lazy or not. How you comport yourself while performing the sadly necessary is all-important. It is not effort that classifies the lazy, since laziness is by definition an absence of effort. It is all about conduct.

You have much to learn. If you can’t be bothered learning it, then there is nothing more I can teach you.

About Hatboy

I’m not often driven to introspection or reflection, but the question does come up sometimes. The big question. So big, there’s just no containing it within the puny boundaries of a single set of punctuationary bookends. Who are these mysterious and unsung heroes of obscurity and shadow? What is their origin story? Do they have a prequel trilogy? What are their secret identities? What are their public identities, for that matter? What are their powers? Their abilities? Their haunted pasts and troubled futures? Their modus operandi? Where do they live anyway, and when? What do they do for a living? Do they really have these fantastical adventures, or is it a dazzlingly intellectual and overwrought metaphor? Or is it perhaps a smug and post-modern sort of metaphor? Is it a plain stupid metaphor, hedged around with thick wads of plausible deniability, a soap bubble of illusory plot dependent upon readers who don’t dare question it for fear of looking foolish? A flight of fancy, having dozed off in front of the television during an episode of something suitably spaceship-oriented? Do they have a quest, a handler, a mission statement, a department-level development objective in five stages? I am Hatboy.
This entry was posted in Hatboy's Nuggets of Crispy-Fried Wisdom. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s